Haunting Halloween

Tonight has been a rather unusual night for us. Normally we look forward to Halloween with great anticipation, as you know from posts of Halloweens Past! But this year, with Don laid off, he felt he could not turn down band work when he was asked to fill in. So he is off in Fairhaven tonight with his guitar. He is in full costume, with his referee shirt on, a pair of very dark sunglasses, and a white cane. Get it?
Corey chose to stay at college for the festivities. Julie came home but has spent the evening with her friends in Wareham, trick or treating there. I am to pick her up later tonight.
Tim and Yon have work of course although they have not trick or treated in years, they normally vie to pass out the candy when little Halloween costumers ring the doorbell.
This leaves me and the three youngest. But Joe for the first time begged to go out with his friends (supervised by a dad.) I wanted to selfishly say no but of course I let him go- Even though it means I am sitting here typing this all alone wearing my very favorite court jester's outfit.
Jamie and Nikki are sitting feverishly on the couch. Ooops nope, poor Jamie just staggered off to bed. Thursday night he came home with a sudden fever, splitting headache, and achy throat. He spent all day yesterday sleeping although he perked up a bit in the evening when Mary and Matt stopped by.
This morning he insisted on getting dressed and going to the bank. He wanted to go for a canal walk with us before heading into work. But after about 2 hours of being up and moving he sat rubbing his arms and legs. "My muscles must be sore from staying in bed all day yesterday I guess."
I took one look at him and made him go back to bed. I tried to explain about body aches and the flu but mostly he is sad that he is missing out on fun.
Meanwhile, this afternoon Nikki was buried under a blanket, fully dressed while watching tv. Now Nikki being lazy on a lovely day is not unusual. Nikki saying she is freezing while snuggles under blankets is odd however. Sure neough she has 'it" too. Sore throat, fever, splitting head, achy body, listless.
The last time she was really sick was in the 4th grade. She is nomally a perfect school attendance kid. Come to think of it, although Jamie is a bit of a hypochondriac and does have seasonal allergies he too has not been sick in many years.
How they spread it to one another however is a mystery. They are the most antagonistic towards one another of all our kids. Oh well...
So I trecked up to Shaws to get extra medicine, cough drops, popcycles, and ginger ale. I also grabbbed a happy pumpkin Halloweeen icecream cake and wrote 'get well soon on it.' Perhaps not the most exciting Halloween of their lives but at least they will remember someone loved them and tried to make them feel better.
Then as I sat at my computer an email came in from a friend. She wanted to tell everyone at once that her dear husband has cancer. Their kids are just off to college and they finally have true couple time together. Now they are gonna spend their couple time battling an aggressive cancer. Damn it all.
One more reminder of the importance of being loving to the people in our lives. One more nudge to say that relationships have to be nurtured and treasured. Don and I have been discussing a little get away. You know how the conversation goes. We both want to do it. We both see the need for it. We think about other people's needs. We pale at the cost. We hem and haw and more time goes by.
But time flies by and life is too short. Time to carve out some time to appreciate each other.
So I sit in my court jester outfit. I say a prayer for the journey cancer is about to take my friends on. I make a mental note to call the kid's doctor in the a.m. I am sure they do not need to be seen. But it is nice to think that if their doctor is at least made aware of their illness that one more set of concerned eyes can be on them. Does that make sense? Is it H1N1? did 2 very healthy kids just coincidentally come down with a flulike thing for no reason? Who knows!
And I look around our cheerfully Halloweened out house. We go all out and decorate. No scary things of course. I can not have skeletons or ghosts or gravestones up. Just little kids dressed up as witches, smiling scarecrows, adorable black cats. We have Don's Spongebob jack o'lantern all lit up.
The weather is mild and windy. And I am grateful for what we have.

An Ode to Beef

What can I say? I am humbled before the Master. Julia Child is one fine chef and her Beef Bourguignon recipe...magnifique!
It was a time consuming process and I actually had butterflies in my stomach worrying that it would not be done in time before I have my Tupperware leader's meeting this evening.
But the gods of the kitchen were smiling upon us today and we feasted on fine French cuisine. My tummy is so full and my mouth is exploding with the tasty memory...I cannot bare to brush my teeth quite yet. I do not want the taste sensation to end. Quel dommage, at this rate I will never be thin!
Today marked a little achievement of sorts. I vowed to make Julia's recipe after watching Meryl Streep steal the show with her virtuoso performance as our Julia. But it just seemed that this 'simple peasant dish' needed Fall as its back drop and so I waited.
Yesterday I thought I had gathered all the ingredients and was running through the complicated steps to create the dish when I realized I had forgotten to get bacon on the rind. 6 ounces of it. I needed to look up a Google Image just to see what the rind was! On my way home from play rehearsal I managed to stop in the grocery store in Halifax but they did not carry it.
So this morning I decided to combine food preparation and exercise and walked the just over 4 mile round trip to Shaws to seek my bacon. Sadly they too were rind-less and so I created my Julia without this one ingredient.
I carefully followed the directions although in my mind I kept thinking, next time lots more carrots and defintely next time make homemade bread to serve along side it.
I chose to reheat mash potatos (with a touch of sour cream and cheese) as a side and added baby peas as well. Julia recomended buttery peas. She also had a list of approriate wines to go along with the dish but I found Coke Zero worked just fine.
It was a wonderful recipe and like painting a picture or something in the creation of it. Now I just have to heop weight Watcher weigh in does not suffer form the second helpings that I was powerless to resist. Bon appetite

Update

This is all well and good. But parents teetering into unemploymenyt may not risk staying home with kids who maybe sick....same old same old. Plus some of out little ones can no more read the memo than comprehend it. Everytime I sub in the special needs class room for instance I have to change my clothes because they get coated in bodily fluids!
Eat and drink well, get plenty of rest, take a vitamin, gargle, wash your hands, sneeze and cough into your elbow not your hands....
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Monday, October 26, 2009:

This message is to notify you that there are four unconfirmed cases of H1N1 in our schools. Three cases were reported to the schools at the end of last week and one case was reported this morning. Three cases were reported to the Carver Middle/High School and one case was reported to the Carver Elementary School



The cases are considered unconfirmed because Massachusetts is only testing for type A influenza and NOT H1N1, therefore no one is actually testing to see if you have H1N1, however, if you do not have type A influenza (the flu), you probably do have H1N1.



The schools are encouraging students to wash their hands regularly and there are hand sanitizers in each classroom. Please do not send your student to school if they have flu-like symptoms: a fever and a sore throat. If you have any questions, please review the checklist that was sent home at the beginning of the year. The checklist is attached to this email. Below, you will find a memo from the Board of Health regarding H1N1 vaccination.



To: Liz Sorrell , Superintendent Carver Public Schools



From: Robert C. Tinkham Jr., Carver Health Agent



Re: Availability of H1N1 Vaccine and Clinics



Date: October 21, 2007



I thought I would take a moment to update you on all that is going on with H1N1. I imagine that you as well as the schools are receiving many calls regarding the H1N1 vaccine. This continues to be one of the most frustrating issues that I have ever dealt with here in Carver. As you know, we, at the Carver Board of Health received a memo this week from the Massachusetts Department of Public Health apologizing to all local town health departments for the delay in delivery of H1N1 vaccine. In short, the memo went on to say:



any scheduled school or town H1N1 clinics scheduled for November, should be cancelled
any vaccination clinics that we were thinking of holding in November for the schools or town should not be scheduled until the Massachusetts Department of Public Health can accurately predict when vaccine will be available for delivery.


This is truly disappointing. With the help of the schools we had put together a great plan to have our children in Carver vaccinated in a timely fashion and this just complicates, frustrates and delays the issue. I want to reassure you as well as the parents of children in Carver that as soon as H1N1 vaccine is delivered to Carver (it has already been ordered) we will be scheduling and holding vaccination clinics. Please remind everyone to wash their hands as much as possible and to cover their mouths when coughing and sneezing, this may seem like a small effort, but it will pay big rewards in preventing the spread of the flu.

Preparation a la Julia Child

All summer I have plotted and planned the re-creation of that Julia Child classic, beef bourguignon- French for what is simply a beef stew. Nevertheless it takes about four hours to cook and has a variety of ingredients not normally found in a standard American kitchen.
My plan was to purchase all the ingredients today and cook it up tomorrow. But as I sit here I realize I forgot to buy bacon still attached to the rind. I have never even seen such a thing but it surely exists at Shaws. Tomorrow is a run day anyway so I will run up there and pick it up in the morning.
The steps are a bit complicated so I have been going over the recipe and imagining how to put it all together. The bourguignon calls for mushrooms which I really do not like. But I am determined to follow the recipe exactly at least this first time. After that I can make it my own way. We all know Julia would approve of that.
I had some trouble collecting all the ingredients however. For instance the only pearl white onions I could find were frozen so they will have to do. I did find little white onions in a jar but they were called Holland onions and I have no idea if that is the same thing or not, and Julia does not leave hints!
Also I could not find any fresh thyme. I do have some growing in my garden but it is lemon thyme. I wonder if that matters? Again Julia does not say.
The funniest part so far was my trip to the liquor store. As of this very moment we now possess more liquor at one time than we have ever had in our home. Our liquor shelf consists of one bottle of absolut vodka, one bottle of bacardi rum, and now one bottle of a full bodied red wine.
You realize I have no idea what a full bodied wine means. I was simply following Julia's instructions. She mentions a burgundy or a chianti. When I said this in my most wordly tone of voice to the liquor guy he just stared at me blankly and said, "Ya? Which one?" Of course I thought they were both the same!
I finally settled for their cheapest red wine. I mean I am going to cook with it, not sip it with my meal, although Julia really recommends wine at dinner. I think the liquor guy thought I was a little crazy! I have heard of wine in a box which I thought would be cheaper but I was too chicken to mention it. Besides wine bottles are very pretty. So I am the proud holder of a Chianti called Bella Sera which is Italian for Beautiful Evening. It is a 2006 vintage. Grapes were very tasty here in the Blauss garden that year, so perhaps it was a good year for Italy too!
Searching the outside of the bottle for any indication of how much it contains by volume has so far proven fruitless. I told the guy I needed 3 cups worth for my recipe, but apparently wine does not need to list servings sizes or servings per container! Hopefully it will prove to be enough. I do not think my liquor shelf is large enough to hold 4 bottles of alcohol!
So my ingredients are gathered for tomorrows big experiment. Meanwhile I have cooked up some meatballs for later on in the week, whipped up potato salad, and baked homemade bread in the oven. The dough I made in the bread maker but this is the first time I have taken the dough out to create my own oven fresh bread. the bread in the breadmaker comes out a funny shape so I thoguht it woudl be fun to try it this way.
I have even managed to fit in some Tupperware paperwork and with the help of a neighbor I even have my own business cards. Ta daaaaa.
The house smells wonderful and the sun is streaming in the windows right now. I am torn between taking a nap or getting outside for a power walk. The walk is probably very important considering I will be eating homemade bread for dinner and who can stop at one piece? On the other hand my pillow and comforter are so very very cozy....

A Good Marriage

We were just finishing a lovely roast beef dinner. Joe had headed out as soon as he was done to go off with neighbors to a haunted house. (I of course can never bring them to one of those, too scary for me!) As Nikki sat finishing up her meal she confided in us that one of her close friend's had sworn her to secrecy.
We patiently reminded her that although a friend's secret was important it was never good to keep if it was illegal or possibly dangerous. We also reminded her that sometimes a friend shares with another friend because even though they themselves may have been told not to tell something, it bothers them enough that it must be confided to someone.
Such proved the case. Her friend's parents are separating after a very long marriage. We sat in stunned silence for a moment and Nikki burst out. "I know! I felt just how you guys look right now when I first heard. I feel so bad for N*." We started to question Nikki further but as she looked so uncomfortable I stopped. "Look honey if N* shared some info with you but asked you not to tell then it is perfectly ok not to want to discuss this further. But it is always good to talk to your parents about stuff." We reassured her that we would not tell anyone but I must say both Don and I were shaken.
This is the second long time seemingly strong marriage THIS week alone that has fallen apart around us. I believe this makes an even dozen of apparently stable relationships crumbling that we know of.
Early this week Don and I had been talking about some celebrity relationships that were falling apart, most notably Jon and Kate and my dear Rosie O'Donnell and her wife Kelly. In these public eye situations all involved say they are putting their kids first.
I commented to Don that maybe that was one of the big problems. I so not believe a marriage survives unless you are putting your relationship first. I do not mean that a mother should not leap to help her newborn. Certainly when a child is sick or struggling or even going through a great and glorious event the world needs to orbit around them for a time.
But for day to day living it seems at least in this modern world that a relationship only stands a chance if both partners put their marriage first on their list, EVERY DAY.
That chestnut of wisdom you learn during Pre Canna classes 'love is a decision' requires faith and diligence to carry it out. The effort to make a good marriage great and a relationship to last a lifetime requires both people to invest their time and effort into it. But boy it ain't easy.
We have now been in this love affair for over 26 years. We have had some wonderful highs, the births of our children, our get away to St Lucia... and we have weathered many a storm. Both of us have not always been as caring or as gentle with one another as we should. Both of us have proven to be stubborn and opinionated and it has amazed me how often we have resisted backing down in an effort to be right.
But lately it has felt as though we are left clinging to one another as folks drown all around us. When I first began hearing of real marriages (lets be honest we know plenty of people who never should've been together in the first place!) ending I would get into a huge fight with Donnie. I would peck at him and debate him, all in a nervous effort to understand why a guy would do such and such or why so and so's relationship failed. Poor Donnie would be left in a quandary. Quite frankly he has trouble ascertaining his own motives and actions, let alone dissecting someone else's!
But as more and more marriages around us crumble and I pray more and more for others (not to mention ourselves) I have found not commonalities in those relationships but a deep abiding sadness. It is a reminder if I ever needed one on the importance of commitment, on the 'love is a decision' that has to be made every day.
Life is very very busy and very very full. But love cannot last when there is no nourishment for it. It needs food and water (that is right Donnie take your wife out to dinner please!) It needs fresh air and sunshine (so lets go out on a date!) It needs patience and forgiveness, and it needs laughter...lots of laughter.
At first as marriages were falling apart a part of me felt threatened. But more and more I see the beauty of our own commitment... all of it- the joy and the anger, the quiet times and the loud. I know some people talk about needing to be alone to 'find themselves' that they lost themselves in their relationship or as their role of parent became so all consuming.
I certainly have no great words of advice for anyone and certainly no judgement. I just know for us that it is possible to grow while being one with someone.

The Beat goes on...

It has been a very very interesting and varied week - certainly not easy, but interesting! Some of the highlights included getting to be a lunch lady. Believe me if you think you are underpaid and under appreciated in your job then you have NEVER been a lunch lady. Talk about a thankless drudgey tasking assignment! Gotta love those kids though, they certainly make me laugh. I was even able to get one of the rowdy fifth graders to admit his guilt and apologise for being the milk carton stomper.
Being good at the Catholic guilt thing sure comes in handy! Needless to say I had him help me with the cleaning on Friday, after Wednesday's wet and messy episode.
This week I also auditioned for and lost the part of the Major General. I am apparently to be one of the sister for the March production. I was robbed I tell you, robbed of my rightful part! The audition was such a hoot and the private emails I got afterwards did much to sooth my bruised feelings, not to mention ego.
This week I also got back to weight watchers and running. Both have been looming in my mind and it is somewhat of a relief to be back. The ladies at my regular meeting are so inspirational too. For whatever reason, if I do not attend I do not lose, and money worries or not the meeting simply has to be a priority. At 46 I take no regular middle age type medications and I owe that almost completely to weight watchers and my bid for better health. We will squeeze in the meetings and exercise somehow and be the better for them.
This week however was also a teenage disaster area in regards to two nameless children. Both have lost Internet priviledges. We also put security codes on the upstairs computer something we have never felt the need to do. We also discovered that one of the nameless had in illegal Myyearbook account which is a mix of myspace and facebook if you want to meet lots of guys or gals! Oh ya, that little piece of business cost me a trip to the police department when my investigating uncovered a possible 48 year old guy posing as a teen. Oh you do not even want to know!!! Anyway with the help of our finest and police down in RI, we discovered the inapproraite minor was indeed a minor (I can only imagine the punishment HIS father has instore for his inappropriate messages.) I also found our through a guy on the sherif's department that they can take the harddrive from your computer and recover every single website anyone ever went on, and for how long, and EVERY single AIM conversation. I passed that sobering information on to some people in this house who think what they want is what they should get just because they want it.
I then had nightmares for two days about what COULD have happened. Quite frankly I never ever imagined having to go down to the police station for anything more serious than finding a stray dog. (I must say though I do love a man in uniform!)
Lets see, not much can top that! Ah yes, parent teacher conferences went well over all. I have also been working on making Tupperware business cards on my PC which is not as simple as it sounds.
Oh and Don has been working VERY hard on organizing bills. (The more you have I guess the easier they are to organize.) He also has made numerous trips to the bank so that we could setup online banking. It has been frustrating. Things you think you ought to be able to do online you have to first get signed or approved or set up at the bank.
But after multiple trips and situation comedy like errors we can now see all our banking at a glance and right from home. We have moved money around (also easy to do when there is not much of it) and are caught up on all bills. This has been a great relief.
The unemployment paperwork stuff seems to be working out ok to. The big stress right now is the health insurance but other than that.... Don applies for things every day and we will remain positive that what is meant to be will be. It has been nice especially in this last week as he has grown more comfortable in the day to day running of things. I sometimes go from one job to the next all in one day and it is nice to not also HAVE to cook dinner or be responsible for coordinating kid drop offs.
One of my fears was that I would be stuck being the bad guy leaving Huney Do lists every day. But this has not been the case. More and more as he catches on to the mommy track he is able to help the flow go smoothly. Plus he is picking away at all those things we never have time for. So new curtain rods are up, small things are getting repaired, shelves are getting organized!
Also, as crazy as my schedule has been, having him around at the odd hours is a slice of heaven. Sometimes we can climb back into bed together to doze after the younger three leave, for an hour, before I have to go to work. Or he and I have an hour or so to walk before the afternoon rush stats up again. This has been very nice.
And for the first time in years I have 2 TV shows to look forward to. We DVR Modern Family and watch it after grocery shopping and PTOs (middle and high school) on Wed nights. We also are captivated by the Big Bang Theory (can you say Matt and Tim?) on Monday nights. Mary even let us borrow the first season dvd and Don and I are like little kids getting away with something, catching up on a tv show in the middle of the day!

History class on test day

I am blogging this from the middle school history department. Today has been a tough day for 7th graders, a test on the New Stone Age. The geek in me compelled me to take the test and I am not modest enough to let it go unsaid: I ACED the test!
Now is the prep period followed by another class taking the test, an eight grade study, and a final 7TH grade class working on a study guide and weblog for their test on Monday. Thankfully I happen to know quite a bit about the New Stone Age and they will benefit from my knowledge.
Of course what they really want (besides to not be here in the first palce) is to hear me tell stories about the kids and animals. I have developed a reputation as a racontour and even the most unmotivated and mischevious of students will pause in the plotting of misdeeds in order to hear the latest chicken episode.
As the kids have been test taking I have kept one eye out for cheaters (there have been none so far!) and with my other eye I am trying to update myself on the new safety procedures.
Apparently they updated the manual but not the subs who need to be made aware of such things. We now have two kinds of lockdowns....a REAL lockdown- As in lights out, computers off, silence while remaining in a 'safe' area of the room. No near windows and doors and no opening of anything until the cops unlock the doors! This is in keeping with national guidelines. Apparently in actual situations would be harmers knock on the doors, are let in, and then well you can imagine.
We also now have a procedure called an 'in place' which is in reality what our old lockdown procedure was. Lock the doors no looking out windows and doors but resume teaching. This is typically used for medical emergencies such as when an ambulance needs to be called.
The middle schoolers take this all in stride.The high schoolers however were a little more aggravated and or anxious as they were also doing a thing about Columbine....so you can imagine where their minds ran.
I just like to know what are the plans for whatever is occuring. And the mother hen in me is constantly counting kids and where they are and who might be missing. The room I am in now for instance has no windows. So I scan the sign that shows the nearest emergency exits.
I love the subbing and since history is one of my most favorite subjects I was eager to come in here today. Nikki stopped in with a quick question and I am grateful I can be so close to my own kids when they need me. (Not that she wants me to acknowledge her in the hall or anything!)
Still with Don out of work I feel more pressure than ever to look for more fulltime work with higher pay. We walk a tight rope high above the ground with no safety net in our efforts to raise our kids as we see fit. It can be hard sometimes to trust in our decisions with the economy being the way it is.
Yet on a day like today with middle school kids laughing and learning and listening, it is hard to imagine a more perfect place to be.

Fall contemplations

Fall is normally a time of great energy for me. All the back to school stuff. Scrubbing the house and changing things over from summer to Fall. Window washing, furniture moving. The new schedule to adjust to, who gets picked up or dropped off when, what activities did we sign on for or get roped into. Sometimes Don and I take on something completely new. One of us may choose to teach, coach, or lead something. We may decide something needs more of our attention, or we may decide to devote time and resources to some group or another. Other years we try to pull back and make sure we are not overcommitted. (Ok I know that is a relative term!)
This Fall we are trying to focus on jobs, and home, on bunnies, and school, and family. We are figuring out our new homelife configurations. We have decided to support the new church youth group, the two school PTOs, and a few favorite 4H clubs. Many of us were also going to commit to the March play but it is a musical and really for adults. After much thoughtful consideration and with Don's help we have decided I will try out for a challenging role in it. The big audition is Sunday and so in addition to all our regular routine plannings we have fit in musical rehearsals.
Usually by mid October the Fall routine feels comfortable, doable, and enjoyable. But Julie's leaving for college, and Don's layoff has really thrown everything off kilter and the new norm has not yet been adjusted too. Days and nights feel just a bit strange. Not bad necessarily. But certainly different.
I am also aware that my writing has suffered because there are things that need to remian unwritten. Yet I find that poses a challenge too. I have discovered the writing very carthartic. So to impose an edit button on certain topics or deeper discussions impacts even the most casual of my musings.
When I first blogged I joked that I needed a shadow blog to write about more risque things. But who would it be for? And things like that have the habit of getting out anyway. Just ask anyone who has ever taped a tryst with a boyfriend only to discover that the X felt compelled to put it online! Not that this has ever happened to me. Not because I am a prude or aynthing. On the contrary I think it would be fun. But kbnowing how I can lose track of things...with my luck the tape would get mixed in with a box of old Barney and Power Ranger tapes! You can see the sitdpm dilemna that woudl ensue.
Anyway, my writing feels weighted down as I pick and choose what to say and what to remain unsaid, a rather novel experience for a person who rarely leaves a thought left unexpressed. (You would not want to sit next to me on a long train ride if you hoped to get some shut eye!)
Plenty to do though and think about, pray about, and consider.

when life really picks up speed.

So much has happened over the past few days it is hard to even know where to begin the blog! I have a few unexpected moments of quiet right now so I will try to quickly jot down the weeks events.
Don has been out of work 3 full days now (excluding the weekend) and we are all coming to terms with the new adjustments. I hope that it eases up the constant demands on my time trying to figure out everyone's schedule etc. I have this fantasy that with my working 2 jobs and he only reffing weekends will mean he magically have some time to take on some of the other things. We joke that HE can be the wife for a while. He wonders if I will be able to give up the "control". How do you say to a man that you love that you NEVER wanted ALL the control to begin with and you will be glad to give it up:>) Glad, eager, thrilled beyond your wildest dreams even!
He has been working on his resume and has begun the process to look at jobs. It would appear that the cabinet bussiness will be remaining at the bottom of the economic recovery although he has spent most of his adult life working at one cabinet place or another. New opportunities is how we are suppose to look at that I guess. The whole Unemployment thing is suppose to be streamlined....I leave it for him to blog about except to say that after Friday we will not have health insurance and Unemployment's response is to send us something via snail mail that we will have to look over, figure out and fill out. Going in person does not speed that up, nor trying to do it online! (Don did both.)
We did receive an estimate on the amount we will get and it appears tight but doable. However I still do not know what if anything we pay for health insurance. what I do know there is no paycheck this week at all. It starts next week and naturally is not retroactive...
Went to a wake and funeral on Friday and Saturday. 61 year old guy, married over 40 years. Townie from where I grew up so Mass was in my old parish. I got to sit next to a wonderful man who is the most lovely sounding tenor you ever heard in real life. My mother use to joke that when she died she wanted HIM to sing HOW GREAT THOU ART, while they wheeled her in!
At the end of Mass as people were milling about (there was a monsoon outside) the organisits began to play that hymn as background music. I looked over at the tenor and his wife next to him burst out laughing as we both shared the joke! There is so much to blog about the wake and funeral, which was a full fireman's extravaganza, bagpies and all and I will try to deovte a blog exclusively to it later on.
There were also 3 Tupperware parties in 4 days and amidst it all the first play rehearsal for the March Show-an operetta no less by Gilbert and Sullivan.
I have 2 weeks to seriously prepare my audition and I am torn between two very plum (read that large!) roles but both require a LOT of singing. I know I can do either character and the lines will not be an issue. And I was thinking that the singing would be like any other exercise....practice practise, practise. I figure if I can run five miles and swim across Maquan pond I oughta be able to perform the patter songs of the Major General or the harmonies of Ruth the pirate.
There has also been a lot of subbing in the special needs room which I so want to write about, but it is a challenge because of confidentiality. Let me tell you though I have really had to bone up on my sign language and Braile!
Ok I must leave my blog and make some Tupperware phonecalls and I am also working on a cover letter for a research job, fulltime, for myself, at BU.
I certainly do not mind being busy. But it does seem that more and more of my life is occupied with very divergent activities.
ps: Struggling with my weight and commitment to exercise. I do have a run on November 14th and I am holding myself to it. Also I did not even mention how cute 2 of our new baby bunnies are and Nikki and I are working to socialize them. They are going to do awesome at shows....when we figure out how to fit those in:>)

From Mother Teresa

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

I waited til he fell alseep

I am not certain when it started. This need I have to feel Don fall asleep first before I do. I do not believe it was early in our marriage. I think it began shortly after I started working the night shift. On my nights off I liked to wait until he fell asleep first. That sensation of his being awake and then boom his drifting off.
Of course he has always fallen asleep before me. I do not know if that is a guy thing, seeing as how Donnie is the only guy I ever ahem slept with. But I often spent the bedtime hours daydreaming about some TV show, or some romance novel, or some plan for the next day or the next week. He has nearly always fallen asleep before me and I love that sensation of the moment he drifts off. As a matter of fact I get disappointed, like I missed out on something, on those rare nights I drift off before him. I have been known to fall asleep first in some stages of pregnancy, the few serious illnesses I have had, and on one or two occasions when Vodka and I became too intimate.
But for the most part he drifts off long before I and tonight was no exception. The difference this evening is come morning he does not have a job to go too. Like many Americans in this Recession he has been laid off. The company he has worked for for most of the last 20 years is folding and so come morning he heads for Unemployment and all the joy and paperwork that brings.
We have faced worse of course. Two miscarriages which broke our hearts. The loss of 2 foster children who quite frankly were ours and are always mourned no matter what the State decided. My parents death which is still bewildering sometimes even though we are grown ups. Coreys lung episodes which are painful to even type now.
Don was laid off once before, when I was many months pregnant with our only 'planned child' Julie. Talk about stress! Now he is laid off but I have 2 part-time jobs, Tim is in the work force, Yon works, and thank heavens we own our own home. We will make it. It will be a challenge. But we have teetered along the poverty line for many years and we are well aware of our riches. It will some how turn out fine.
We spoke with the children at supper and tried to figure out logical next steps while still fitting in a typical Thursday night of busy schedule. We were both self consciously aware of each others' needs, "Are you ok?" "How do you really feel?" But of course even though it was not unexpected, the job loss is still a shock.
Yet at days end, when it was just the 2 of us, going over the next days schedule... I do not know how to explain it. Sometimes in this long marriage (26 years and counting) I have felt lonely and angry and scared for us... Yet tonight as we headed for bed and as we contemplated the unknown...we were as one, fresh and sarcastic and silly....
We have weathered many a storm, sometimes bewildered and alone but mostly together. Mad sometimes sure, disappointed and even disillusioned. But honestly, mostly we laugh, God how we laugh... and tonight as we stood together naked and ready for bed, just us fully open and honest in the way only longtime dear friends could be we both knew, I mean we both know, it will be Ok.

Ran 2 miles with a ways to go still

First run since my back went out and all things considered it was not a bad deal. Ran the entire way and felt pretty decent. I mean I do not believe I am ever going to achieve that mystical runner's high. But I would be content to not "Job and Jonah" it the whole way is all:>)
My back is a bit stiff but gone is the awful pain that made even shifting my leg an agony. It is funny but when I woke up Tuesday morning not in pain it almost felt unreal. My back was still very very tight however, that sensation you get right before you throw your back out. Needless to say before I headed into Fenway I took a final muscle relaxer.
But when Wednesday dawned and still no pain, just the echo of it- I felt so giddy. It really is glorious not to be in pain. Ok the last sentence is a bit of a misnomer because of course for the last 18 years my mid back has given me daily pain due to the nerve damage. But I have long since gotten used to it. What I meant was not to have the lower back agony of the compressing discs is glorious.
It has been a good solid reminder if I needed one why it is so important not to give up on my weight loss and health goals, even if I am up a few pounds. I really only truly suffered for about 5 days. Almost 2 years ago however when I was at my heaviest and most out of shapest that pain lasted 6 full weeks. I never EVER want to put any of us through that again.
The "us" part is one of the hardest things about my stupid back. Because if I am not functioning at full power every one else here suffers. Especially poor Donnie. Hmmm, I probably should not think of it as 'my stupid back' since other people's backs have betrayed them far worse than mine has betrayed me. So as I do some slow strengthening and relaxing Yoga stretches today I will focus on the gifts my back does bring to me instead of the negatives. (BTW it is much easier to appreciate your back when it is not shooting agonizing pain every which way:>)