Old Age in Dogs

Can it be since July when I last blogged? I write every single day. I think Facebook impacts blog writing. Or it could be caring for the farm leaves little time to write reflectively. Or it could be that I am officially a TEACHER in PLYMOUTH now! I have missed my blog but it had been so long since I wrote I felt I needed something momentous to extol upon. That puts limits on writing as you can imagine however, so that certainly did not work.
   Instead today I will write about elderly dogs. A small thing to write about to be sure. But it is a start. We have had old dogs in this house for quite sometime it seems. We put Champ- my brother's 14 years old beagle- down about 3 1/2 years ago. Champ was born here in this house and given to Yon after his glorious bronze medal win in the Special Olympics World Games. Champ towards the end suffered some sort of doggie dementia and we did not face it for a while, which made him suffer and I still regret that.
     Then my dream dog Lily the bearded collie left us after suffering a stroke one Sunday morning. She had been aging rapidly, had tumors, and bad vision. She lingered in an in between state and Don and I held her all through her last night, until she was finally brave enough to let go. She had Don in tears towards the end, something that never happens. But it was so apparent that she was afraid to leave us. She was a shy beardie, not a good thing in a dog, and had a host of quirky behaviors that drove him to distraction. But she loved children and animals and faithfully herded and worried over all the creatures in this house. We all still laugh when we remember how she would try to play with the baby bunnies, who by the way did not feel as warmly towards her as she did towards them. How she would have loved the baby goats and sheep that we have now!
  So here is Bambam turning 13 today. He has never fully recovered from Lily's death and if you mention her name he often becomes very dejected. He has terrible cataracts and we are not sure how much he sees. He has developed separation anxiety, since her death as well, although that seems to be easing somewhat. He also,  to be honest,  smells -even after a bath! He is an old man who wants nothing more than to share the sunspots on the couch with the cats. He does still get jealous however, if you pat 4 year old Cookie first, and risks getting head butted by Mama goat if you pat her in his presence.
   The other night he sat baffled between Don and his brother Wes. In the darkness of a living room, lit only by the Christmas tree, the poor dog could not see the two men clearly. But he could hear two voices which sounded the same to him. He did not bark as would be typical for him, instead he sat in bewilderment trying to sort it all out. He has trouble getting up on the furniture, and is sometimes incontinent which embarrasses him, if he is caught.
   People talk in admiration of the patience a devoted dog deserves from his owners in his twilight years. They paint a fuzzy picture of love and commitment. These people have not had 3 elderly dogs in the last 4 years. It is in a word -exhausting. Exhausting to stagger out of bed because the dog walked into the hallway in the middle of the night and forgot where he is going and is now crying. It is exhausting to get out of bed to boost the dog up onto the chair, or down from the chair, or back on the chair because he forgot he wanted to get on or off the chair, all within a span of 20 minutes. It is exhausting to fill and refill a water bowl then have to show the dog where it is, and then again a few minutes later.Also, it is a cold night out there helping the dog up and down the back steps. It is a pain in the rear giving weekly baths to a dog who is rather stinky...it is love and commitment all right, but it is sometimes begrudgingly and exhaustively carried out.
    Still... these last few days I have been very sick with something clearly worse than a sinus infection, more bordering on the plague. Yesterday I finally gave in and lay down. Bambam beamed with pure joy. He spent the entire day blissfully keeping me company. He never minded if I tossed and turned, he simply popped up, waited until I settled, then snuggled back down. Covers on and off? No problem, he was fine either way. Each time I got up to get more tea, he would follow me out and sit and blearily try to watch me, patiently waiting for me to settle back down again. Every once in a while he would let out a sigh of contentment. Today he has been sitting next to me while I type. Every once in a while he hops up onto the day bed as if in invitation. He is about to get another perfect doggie day for I will shortly join him.
   He is getting old and certainly stinky, his little old man quirks are tiresome and annoying. But he is a boon companion especially if you want company while resting. He is a good dog.

All creatures Great and Small

   One day as I lay in bed, home sick, my mom brought me a new book from the library. I must've been in middle school at the time. All Creatures Great and Small was a revelation to me. I knew from its first pages that I wanted to be a veterinarian and I wanted to marry a farmer!
     I eagerly read anything written by James Herriot (his pseudonym)and learned about pre and post war Great Britain, old animal care practices, and how a good story well written was better than any movie or TV show!
   As I got older at some point it occurred to me that I did not need to marry the farmer, I could BE the farmer and that as such I would be doing quite a bit of animal care myself. While I never envisioned castrating poor little goats those descriptions in James' novels of cow delivery complications helped during dog, cat, rabbit, and goat delivery challenges for sure!
   When we first moved to town our animals were lovingly vetted by Dr. Rice and his wife Lucy. He was a retired large animal vet who now ran a small animal practice from his home. He cared for our dogs and cats and always asked about the chickens and rabbits. I would seek his advice about the latter two although he never saw them since that was not his specialty. But he gave me confidence in my abilities and I enjoyed many a conversation about animal care.
   His wife must've always given us the friends and family discount. The first time I met her I had 7 kids and the oldest was 8. We all crowded into her exam room to pick up our lab Angel after she was spayed. But the van died in the vets  driveway so I left the dog in it while walking with all the kids two miles to a pay phone because I was too embarrassed to use their phone (this of course was pre cell phone era). She sent a client out looking for me then called later to check up on me. Over the years she would compliment me on the children's achievements when they made the Carver Reporter and she often asked after the foster children we had.
      Let me tell you the first time I went to another vet it was STICKER SHOCK. I had no idea the kindness the Rice's had shown our animals and my pocketbook.
    When the Rice's retired I sadly went in search of a new vet and settled on Halifax Veterinary clinic. They are excellent there and although I still blink at the price, everything costs money plain and simple. I especially enjoy the lady vet who grew up in Carver and who I heard made farm visits.
   Now that I have the larger livestock I have continued to do my own basic veterinary chores. But it is important to establish a vet relationship because what if something BIG happens? But the crisis with Nikki's short lived pup showed me that Dr Oakham and I could have a good working relationship. She was amazing, skilled, and kind, and she trusted our abilities and that means a lot.
   Any how she came out today to meet the herd and do a basic health check. We originally thought the man vet was coming and I was nervous. What do vets look at while they are checking out your animals? (Turns out they mostly look at their patients, unless a duck happens to walk under their feet during an exam! Really happened.) Would our set up look ok? Is it clean enough? We have always been blessed with healthy animals but still there is an amount of dirt debris that goes along with them.
   Last night I had Don help me trim hooves while I brushed coats and made everyone look lovely. Then of course the torrential rains came and well, picture the mud a herd makes! We cleared a rain proof spot for her and Joe was a tremendous help bringing out one animal at a time for her to look over. Only poor Rosie was skittish and took a bit of wrangling. Everyone else showed off beautifully.
It was great to consult with someone knowledgeable about what to look for, what others in the area do, and what we should watch out for. I even got a compliment on my castrating abilities lolol
   Hopefully we will never need more than a once a year check on how the creatures are doing. But I feel better knowing our little farm passes muster. As she was leaving of course I became a cartoon character trying to shoo the ducks out from under the vet's car. We have a little depression at the top of the driveway that fills with rain and apparently it is paradise for the ducks. We have both a small wadding pool and two fish ponds but they do not match the attraction of the tar dip filled with rain water apparently?
    "Ok it will look bad if the veterinarian kills two little ducks in the driveway,"  she said while laughing as I tried to grab them. "Think of how I would look!"
   Well she looked wonderful to me even if she was laughing at me and my little duck friends.

Bunny shows and bunny happenings

I sweltered at the Brockton Fair bunny show today. We stayed under a large pavilion and there was the faintest of breezes. The fair was not open to the public, and the bunny show is tucked away from the main fairgrounds so the fair itself is neither loud nor intrusive, but it was DARN hot!.
    On the drive over we happily sang along with Chachi and Breakfast with the Beatles. The Beatles guy on the radio is one of Joe's 4H club chicken leaders so we always try to catch him on Sunday mornings if we are heading to a show. Plus of course both Joe and Julie love the Beatles.
    That is correct. Julie is back to showing rabbits, hooray!!! Joe and I both gave her a couple of our Dwarfs while she decides what varieties to show.
    Julie ended up taking Best of Breed in Open with Joe taking Best Opposite Sex of Breed so I was left out in the cold! Plus the baby bunny I had big plans for, turns out to have mismatched toenails grrrrrrr not showable if they remain that way!
  It was so fun being at the show with Julie and Joe however, and I looked forward to a morning of bunny chat with them. It was not to be, alas. A young girl was 'writing' for the judge today, for the first time and she needed help. Now of course I could have said no but it is VERY hard to get good writers, this was a small show, and really the leader running the show has done so much for my kids over the years.
    Writing is always fun because you get an opportunity to see into the mind of the judge as he determines where the rabbits should be placed. Plus you get to meet EVERYONE at the show, and you have the chance to learn about the more obscure breeds.
   Julie was thrilled with her win and Joe and I plotted and planned breeding pairs on the ride home so it was a good day. Then when I got home I was greeted by Lucky, or as Yon calls him Lucky Charms a little scrap of a bunny who is currently living in my bedroom.
   Now you know how special Lucky must be in order even BE in the bedroom given Don's strictures against pets in the boudoir. But even Don did not have the heart to banish him, particularly when we never thought the little bun would survive.
    On the same morning we found out that a coyote family had made dinner out of the poor kindergarten chicks, I went around to the garden to feed the rabbits in the Dwarf Condo. Una had four babies about 6 weeks old with her. In the back sat as yet unnamed Lucky, looking to be in pain. As I reached in I suddenly pulled my hand back in horror. On the bunny's back was clearly a large animal bite. Exposed the back muscles pulsed in pain as the rabbit tried to scoot away from me.
    I hollered to -I cannot even remember who was outside- and as slowly as I could, I pulled the little guy out of the hutch. It was very obvious that something had bitten him. It did not seem possible that his mother or one of his siblings did it. It seemed so obvious a big bite. Could a coyote have leaped up and bit him while he snuggled close to the cage wall? The bunnies in Una's litter were always pushing themselves up to the wire to get patted. They loved to be held and were friendly little creatures. Did a coyote take advantage of that but then found the chicks a much easier game? Who knows.
   Joe mused that perhaps an owl or something swooped down and reached him? Maybe the mother went berserk? Just in case I removed her from her litter but she has remained as sweet and low key as always.
   Tenderly cradling the little bunny I brought him into the house while Don got a tiny carry cage. carefully I rinsed his wound with soap and water. I did not dare put on antibiotic cream since bunnies are scrupulous in their self bathing. I did not want him to poison himself while he licked himself clean!
    We never thought he would live the day much less the evening. I hand fed him bits of hay and tried to coax him to drink water and eat grain. That little thing had a strong will to live and the next morning, even with his back gaping open, he was hopping about trying to reach his food.
    After a week I decided to hold him while getting him a larger cage. The hair below the wound felt like some sort of bumpy elephantiasis was under it and I was horrified that he had some infection. I decided he would be better off in my room away from the kitten who was determined to reach thru the cage and play with him.
   The other night the fur seemed to be moving and in trepidation I took Lucky out of his cage to see what was up. Turns out all the fur and dried blood and scab was sloughing off. Some of the area is still exposed but it all looks clean and healthy. He continues to eat and drink and as I was getting ready for the show this morning he started to rattle his name plate. Looking closer I realized he was out of food! I immediately got him more and he happily hopped to his feeder. He did the same when I got home from the bunny show.
   That little Lucky Charms is sure living up to his name. Our original plan had been to sell him at the Marshfield Fair since his coloring is not one of the varieties we show. But his back is not fully healed and although it should be in a month his hair certainly will not have grown back, if it ever does.
    Plus now he has sort of won my heart with his gallant effort to heal and his sweet personality that he has inherited from his mom. Who knows? Perhaps someone visiting our farm will fall in love with him when they hear of his story and he shall find a new home. If I can part with him. There is something very appealing about a little bunny announcing his need for food. I have found a kindred spirit in his joi'de vivre.

There is no way to sugar coat it

 
   The little kindergarten chickens were taken last night and eaten by a family of coyotes. I am heartbroken. Joe searched everywhere today for any survivors. But all we found were two dead small hens in our neighbor's yard and evidence all around the temporary hen yard of  coyote scratch marks and loose feathers.
   As some of you may remember, the chicks had outgrown their nursery in front of the goat milk stand. They needed a temporary home until the goat nursery would be available for them this weekend. Don had rigged up a cute little play yard for them. He utilized a goalie net and an old secure truck cap. The hens had plenty of space, ground to scratch, and  room to run and peck and begin to fly.
    Their final destination was to join the established flock. But they still needed a few months to get larger. The pecking order can be cruel to new little birds and I wanted them separated for another few months.
   When I first saw Donnie's little henhouse I worried that it was too far from our house to hear anything in case something went wrong. But I shook it off as silly fears. After all farmers keep their animals out of sight all the time.  When we one day get land, we certainly won't have the goats and bunnies and chickens in the back yard observing our every move. That would be silly.
   But Saturday night a young coyote put up quite a howl just off our side yard, while we ere all in the garden. Don chased him away and did not see any other creatures. We assumed it was a half grown pup that had lost his family. But the family must've been skulking in the bushes.
  In the 17 years we have farmed here only once did we have a wild animal problem, when a small weasel got in a bunny cage (by wriggling up thru the feeder.) He chewed his way out of the pen but not before killing a young bunny and badly frightening its mother. We secured the cages and never had another problem.
    However I should have taken the young coyote so close to us as a warning. Instead we simply double checked the animals and never gave it another thought. This morning as I was milking Mama I asked Don to refill to baby chicks big waterer. It has been so hot and I was to be gone all day. Although they were snug and cool in the shade I wanted to make sure they would not get thirsty. Donnie headed across the other side of the yard to them and then came back baffled and concerned. "Sue I am sorry they are gone." Confused my first thought was that some neighbor children stole them. After dark, it is easy to steal a chicken since they sleep so soundly. You can pick them up like a basketball and they would not ever stir.
  But then he told me about the paw marks and feathers. He wandered the yard hoping to spot a frightened chick in some hidey hole. But they were all gone.
    My neighbor across the street then came over and I rushed to see if she saw or heard anything. She sadly pointed out two dead birds in her yard.  She is right in front of our yard and behind her are the power lines. Clearly the coyotes crossed through there.
   Those poor little mites never stood a chance. I know I should probably think about the young hungry mother coyote trying to rear her young so close to dangerous humans. But all I can think about are those cute little fluffy chicks. Oh they weren't cute any longer. Long and lanky in chicken teen years they were mostly feathered and but kind of gawky. But I helped hatch them and have cared for them their whole short lives and I feel like I let the poor things down.
      Although we have never had a problem I should've anticipated one. Anyway I just wanted to share the loss with you all. You can be sure we will never neglect and leave the henhouse open again like we often do. We will also check the baby goat nursery to make sure it is secure. Also, I think I will keep the babies in there until they get a bit larger, before putting them fulltime in the herd. Just to be safe.

Tough day on the farm

   Most of the animal care is pretty routine. Feed, water, shelter, playtime.  Dog, cat, bunny, chicken, goat, they pretty much have the same needs just on a larger or smaller scale.
   There are a few big days though in a farmer's life when the routine is NOT routine. Today was such a day. This morning the triplets needed to receive a shot, some baby aspirin, get dehorned, and the 2 boys castrated. Patty Duke also needed both her ears tattooed but for the sake of my stress level if not hers, we put that off for a few days.
   I had intended on all this BIG stuff to get done last weekend under the watchful eye of my goat mentor. However SHE underwent knee surgery, and I battled some stubborn kidney stones, and so another week went by.
   We have not yet made or bought a kid restraint box, and so Donnie was the muscle of the operation. restraining squirmy kids while I got the job done. We will definitely have a box available next time.
   The baby aspirin was easy. I have gotten all sorts of creatures to swallow pills over the years and so a quick grab open pop in shut force swallow and there you go. After about 20 minutes I injected the 3 with their CD & T injection (and gave Capella a booster to boot!) This too went smoothly.
  I then asked Donnie to wrap Tango up in the towel. After much thought, discussion, and research I had settled on horns first, then balls. Donnie then decided, as men often do, to give advice and change the routine. At this point my tension level was very high and my temper very short. For 3 weeks I had tried to engage him in conversation about the best way to do this. NOW was not the time to kibitz.
   Having been married to me for nearly 30 years he heard my tone of voice and silenced his advice. The fact that I has wielding a hot dehorner, with a castrator behind me, may have influenced his decision.
     I carefully shaved the hair around the horn buds (burnt hair smells horrific). I then applied the hot burner, as I had been taught by my mentor, to a count of five, a circling pressure, but not too much. We did this to the next two goats and then after carefully looking over each horn sprayed a disinfectant on it that left their horn scars and my hands a brilliant and nearly unwashable purple. As soon as they were released we gave them sips of milk and all three played about as if nothing happened. They certainly yelled when it was being done to them but as soon as they were released you would not have known anything had happened. Well, except for the funny purple dye on top of their heads.
    Next Don grabbed the first boy and held him in a sitting position tightly but sympathetically grabbing his four legs and leaving the little guys- ahem- exposed. I carefully opened the elastrator, which looks like a pair of plyers with 4 prongs that you put a small sturdy elastic around. Sliding the balls into the elastrator I tried to disengage it. But the elastic would not just slide easily off the prongs. I had to peel them off, one prong at a time, and let me tell you that little goat protested vigorously! Feeling really bad I did the same to the next little guy and he too was not happy.
   All three goats then got a bottle to nurse from and although they all ate vigorously the poor boys stood sort of bow legged. 5 hours later the little girl is romping about, no worse for wear. The boys are much more subdued and I will give them a little more aspirin later. Supposedly their discomfort will not last much longer.
    Truly it went smoothly although I wont feel totally comfortable until I know for sure those horns will not regrow. Tough day on the farm today though and not just for the 3 baby goats!

A Hat Trick

   The triplets are one week old today. This absolutely is the first time I have even been able to reflect on their birth and the impact these little lives are having on us. The demands of bottle feeding 3 newborns and one toddler (Capella the alpine goat is still on a bottle) is all consuming, just as with human babies. But boy is it tons of fun.
   This morning as I milked their recalcitrant mother Matilda, the little ones scampered and leaped and clicked their little heels together, joyfully cavorting about. They explored the world just outside their nursery, while never straying too far. I watched how they greeted the day and thought about how we would all be better off if we too greeted Monday morning in this way. But then I hastily pulled the milk bucket out of the way and leaned back, narrowly avoiding Matilda defecating on me!
    Matilda it seems has read the book on how to be a stubborn goat. The only way to milk her is directly from behind. While this works fine for Don, who at six foot three  can look over her hind quarters, it is more of an adventure for the much shorter me. I am eye to eye and inches from her tail, which thankfully raises just before she, er um, to put it delicately, lets go. As I leaned back, holding the bucket I started laughing. For most people, this is their  Monday reality, trying to hold their milk while the world shits on them, not about boundless exploration of the glorious day, as with the baby goats. Ah well.
   As for their entrance into the world, it was not as I expected. Mama was 4 days late and had a labor lasting about 5 hours or so. She wanted me with her and leaned companionably against me during her labor pains. We expected noisy Matilda to be loud, late, and possibly anxious.
   4 days before her due date she surprised expectations however. I was working on the computer before dinner and had the baby monitor turned on. I could hear the quiet typical goat sounds as I typed. Donnie called down for dinner and throughout the meal we discussed her possible due date and the upcoming preparations.
    A short while after supper however, I heard a faint little moan. Giddy I ran out to the barn, calling over my shoulder to whoever was in the house that labor was starting.
    I arrived at the goat loafing area ( a roomy 3 sided roof covered protected from the elements area, that allows for plenty of fresh air) I arrived just in time to see Tango fall into the hay to join his still moist covered sister, Patty Duke.
   Matilda the goat looked stunned, the babies more so, and I most of all! Careening back into the house I grabbed towels and shouted for help.
   In a scene reminiscent from the I Love Lucy show we all stumbled over ourselves trying to do everything at once. Mama and Galaxy remained outside the loafing area looking interested and I believe were highly entertained by us if not by the birth. Scooping up Tango I began to scrub his lovely black, gold, and white body. (Thoughtful of him to wear the Boston Bruins colors, don't you think?) I then passed off the little guy, to Julie I think, and grabbed his sister who was spitting and choking a bit on the birth detris.
   "Mom is she having another one?" Julie asked in some excitement. Having cleared Patti Duke's nasal passages and passed her off. I grabbed Matilda's collar. "We need to get them all into the nursery." Well Matilda was not convinced of my wisdom. She looked dazed and uncomfortable. But the larger goats were trying to crowd in and Rosie the sheep and Capella the toddler were now trying to help in the delivery!
   Moving sideways like some weird crab, we somehow got Matilda, the babies, myself, and the baby holders out of the loafing pen and into the nursery. We had a few moments to carefully check out the first two babies, admire their beauty, and marvel at how tiny they looked compared to Capella. She was over 9 pounds at birth, these 2 little ones were just over 6.
  Matilda however appeared to be struggling and giving my arm a quick scrub I reached to see what was up with the next baby. In some horror I realized I could only feel one foot and a nose. Babies are suppose to dive out feet first, two feet first. Where was the other foot?
   Gingerly reaching in I tried to control my own adrenaline surge. During a goat delivery a bubble filled with amniotic fluid first appears. Inside 2 feet followed by a nose can be seen and felt. To do an internal on a goat is odd because it is like inspecting through a water balloon. Reaching further in I found the left foot, folded back at the knee. Just as she began another strong contraction, my fingers hooked behind the knee and I urged it forward. I should have waiting until the poor thing had finished her contraction and she moaned quite loudly, poor darling. With a tremendous push to rid herself of her baby and my hand, she sent that baby flying into my chest and I caught Twist before he hit the hay.
  Pretty remarkable isn't it? 3 new lives on this earth in less than 15 minutes. Talk about the miracle of birth!

Being with the Bees

   I have not blogged for a while. Well, that is not quite true. I have blogged in my head a dozen entries, but just never made it to the computer. A wild bout of Bronchitis has slowed me down however, enough to type this morning so here goes.
   Later today I will be lifting my hive cover to make sure the bees are getting enough from their sugar water feeder. I really should post on the blog the photos we took and posted to facebook, while installing the bees Sunday into our hive. Social networking is wonderful for writers but it gets hard to remember what I wrote where!
    Installing the hive went smoothly but I really had to fight my bee fears. The bees need you to move in calm, quiet, deliberate ways without apparent fear or nervousness. This is proving to be quite a challenge.
   Still I love the thought of fresh honey and making my own beeswax candles. I love the whole environmental angle of helping native plantings with pollination. I marvel at the circle of life from the garden. Our bunny and chicken and now goat manure creating and improving the soil. Seeds planted (even better seeds saved from last years harvest!) blossoms pollinated by our own little worker bees. Fruits and veggies picked warm and juicy from the garden and eaten alongside fresh eggs, goat milk, and cheese drizzled with honey all made from our toil. Its dazzling really. Simply dazzling.
    The new little goat is well over 16 pounds now and heading for a month old. She should be joined this week by her baby sheep friend Rosie, a Red Tunis lamb and I look forward to watching those interactions. Meanwhile Matilda, due June 6, looks like there could be more than twins inside her growing Nubian goat body. Who knows?  However, I was so sure Capaella would be one of twins. I think as pregnancy nears the end all creatures look like they are going to pop out a couple of kids!
    I gave some of my homemade feta cheese to the high school chef for him to sample and tomorrow I drop off goats milk. It is very exciting to share the bounty and see what people thing.
     Over April vacation we shared our farm with more than 60 people. Some wanted to hold baby bunnies. Others wanted to learn to make cheese. One little girl simply dreamed of gathering her own eggs. It was quite fun watching everyone's different reactions.
    OK I am off to keep the baby goat company and sit in the sunshine enjoying the garden. The only good part about being sick is it affords some time to sit and simply be. I am going to make that a priority this spring and summer, to make time to simply be. I have created a lot of new work for my self with the growing menagerie. I also should make sure I fit time in to play with, observe, and appreciate.

WHAT A WEEK

   So many things have occurred during the week, the good, the bad, the ugly, the miraculous. Every thing of course carrying its own sets of obligations and stresses. So today is a day for reflection, relaxation, and the making of cheese.
    Lets take care of a few highlights. Mary had her surgery and is recovering very well. I turned 50 and had an amazing surprise party, that was a surprise! Nikki and Don are using new to them cell phones, without adding to my contract with Verizon,whom I am still trying to divorce. Joe is finally allowed back on video games although his homework slacking may mean this is short lived. Yon has a new fish tank up and almost running, still trying to get the water to neutral. The switch is complete from- no more landline and down to basic cable at a cost savings of  $220 every three months! Hulu+ and Netflix are becoming more navigable. Don starts a new fulltime job Monday. The apiary is nearly set and the bees are due April 27. A litter of baby bunnies is thriving and, most stressful of all... I have taken the math MTEL for the 4th and hopefully final time after undergoing a grueling but ultimately helpful math course at Curry's Milton campus.
   The math nearly did me in and the release of stress has been shockingly obvious. It is not good to carry that worry around, think of all the stress hormones doing damage through out the body! I find out on May 3rd if it is to be a stress left behind or a stress to take on for the 5th time.
    The joy of the week (other than Mary's stellar recovery of course) is the birth of our first baby goat on our farm. Miss Capella weighed in at 9 pounds 3 ounces and is a two toned chamoisee. This is a fancy term for her markings which are perfect and striking.
    I have found the  newness of her feeding schedule and the regular milking routine combine to leave me a bit forgetful and walking about with that dazed exhaustion that comes about when a newborn is around. Thankfully next week is school vacation and I am eager to share our farm's good fortune with family and friends, especially all my friends' kids. But I needed this week to adjust to the routine of having the patter of little feet around.
   Capella's birth was a very spiritual experience for me and certainly a lot of hard work for Mama. Her labor started in earnest Sunday morning around ten. Hard labor began just after 2 with Capella greeting the world a scant hour later. Throughout Mama remained calm and focused, leaning on me and sometimes frantically licking me as her maternal hormones surged through her laboring body.
   She is a devoted mom who has adjusted to separation (but in sight) of her baby with quiet grace. Once we are sure the urge to nurse will not overcome either one of them they can be reunited fulltime. For now they are supervised together or an open fence is between them. Hopefully our new baby sheep Rosie will be able to join us soon and the two youngsters can bond before they join the little herd fulltime.
    It is amazing to contemplate that in another 6 weeks we shall do this all over again with Matilda and her progeny. My brother Yon is really looking forward to that tremendous event. I have promised him Matilda's first girl whom he has already named "Patty Duke". He has asked me to show him how to bottlefeed and he is eager to have a goat of his own. Fingers crossed that Matilda delivers at least one girl for him!
   I just finished making some Queso Blanco a simple white cheese that only takes a couple of hours from start to finish. It is the simplest of cheeses, a soft fresh chevre, the first of many batches of goat cheese this year. I want to tackle feta and cheddar again and try making gouda for Donnie. Who knows perhaps I can master blue cheese or gorgonzola?
    The rain has me daydreaming about starting up the garden but its cold drizzle is keeping me indoors. This is probably a good thing because after the week I had, a little R and R is surely called for!

Joyful Anticipation

     It is always difficult to wait for a new baby. The anticipation and anxiety builds. Is everything ready? Did we forget anything? Baby  bottles? Check. Little pajamas in case the night is cold? Check. Baby monitor in place? Room ready? Names picked out? Emergency phone numbers at the ready? Check, check, check and check.
   All this and the kids to be born are not even human! Mama goat is, at age four, expecting for the second time. She joined our family 2 years ago with her son Galaxy whom we all call Baby in spite of the fact that he is now over two hundred pounds of adolescent naughty energy and neediness.
   She is calm and is treasuring the extra attention. In her goat mind I should spend every moment of the day keeping her company while she browses such delicacies as the ivy and my rose bushes. She has 'bagged' up, goatherdese for- her milk has come in. She has had small contractions, I imagine they must call them Braxton Hicks just like in humans. Today she has been putting her front hooves on top of things like her tree stump and Baby's large toy barrel. She stretches as high as she can, lengthening her spine, back hooves on the ground. Apparently goats can help to prepare their kids inside to face in the proper direction as they move into the birth canal. She is day 149 of a 150 gestation period. She remains dairy trim, all streamlined like a good milking goat, except where her sides stick out, twins we hope.
    All my Facebook friends, most of whom are not farmer folk eagerly check my status updates waiting for the new arrivals. I ask final questions of my farm friends wanting to make sure I have anticipated any possible challenge, yet I have every expectation things will go smoothly.  Over April vacation all my various friends with children are hoping to come out and check the baby animals and maybe even bottle feed a goat. I find it difficult to concentrate on anything but the impending birth. Will it be two doelings like we hope? Could there be a possible triplet hiding in there? How will Galaxy react to the newborns?
   Tonight's bitter dip in the weather did send me out to pick up a heat lamp. Of course I could bring baby goats into the house if necessary. But out of respect for Don, I do try to keep livestock out doors. I look over information on labor and delivery and newborn care and I check out new cheese recipes. I think about all the fresh milk and how amazing it is that animals share so intimately in the lives of humans.
   I will post pictures and try to capture video of possible. I found YouTube videos invaluable in helping me understand what to expect and would like to share that with others. But most of all I want to be available as a support to Mama goat. She is about to do some great work. They don't call it labor for nothing!!!
    As for now the anticipation is killing me. Any little sound picked up on the baby monitor has me ready to rush right out there. New babies are coming a sure sign of spring and I am eager to welcome them into the world. I shall keep you all posted.

A Too Brief Life

   Its done. Our little Keke left his failing body. 6 nights after he joined our family he breathed his last painful breath, while snuggled in his puppy bed, perched on Nikki's.
    We had decided  we would try to get more liquids into him at 11 and then I would take him down to my bed for the night so Nikki could sleep. But shortly before 11 she came down to my room heartbroken, caring his frail little body wrapped in his puppy paws blanket.
   I ache for Nikki. She saved for him from the moment she heard about the unexpected delivery of 5 puppies, born quite unexpectedly from his rescued/abandoned mom. I ache for my friend Danielle too who took in the mom from the Lakeville shelter. She expected to adopt a young yorkie and was as shocked as anybody when her very new dog gave birth to 5. She took excellent care of both mom and the new litter and was careful to find them all homes.
   She had posted day old pictures on facebook and Nikki fell in love with Keke (who we thought was a girl!) instantly. Our home visit when Keke was a few weeks old cemented the deal and Nikki and I set about preparing for the new arrival.
    I was nervous from the moment Keke came however as I could not get over how truly tiny he was. My frets were not some sort of premonition however, he acted in every way a healthy pup until Friday but then it was downhill fast.
    He sure struggled to live. 3 times were were certain he was near death and worked with him, lovingly, achingly, gently coaxing him back to life with massage and eye drops of sugar water, one mil. at a time.
   Dr Oakham could not have been more compassionate and she too admired his spunky will to live. But she was blunt about his survival chances, and armed us with meds, feed, and information to get him thru the next critical 48 hours. We knew it was even odds but would not give up on him.
    Keke recognized Nikki's voice and kept trying to crawl, even at his weakest, over to snuggle with her. You know you want your child to learn about pet ownership. Nikki has a goat she will show in 4H this summer, she has a cat, she has had rabbits over the years. But as much as I adore all God's creatures, none are like the companionship of a dog, even a dog who weighs less than a pound.
Nikki's dog wanted to be with her and did not fuss a bit as long as some part of Nikki was in her eyesight.
   I am sad that Nikki had to be a part of the end of the life cycle so soon from one so young.
There is another too who is grieving. Bambam,who took months to get over Lily the Beardie's death, fell hopelessly in love with our new friend. He played with him, followed him about, and would not allow the cats near him. All day today, Bambam has been hovering, worrying.
    I brought Keke's body to him tonight, wrapped in the little blanket. Bambam reacted as if he had been hit, then turned his back. Finally he turned about and with aching eyes kept staring at Nikki and I. He too suffered a loss tonight. He is sad, she is sad, I am sad.
   I wanted to thank my FB friends who have been asking about our little friend and who have prayed for and sent every good thought. I imagine as runt of the litter to a very young inexperienced mom there was something genetically wrong and the stress of a new home proved too much for his system. I know these things happen.
   But boy it is striking how one wee creature could so quickly and so completely capture my heart, all our hearts. So sorry we could not save him but I am at glad his tiny body is at peace. Goodbye little guy.

A New Baby

   Nope not a human baby although if someone wants to leave me one in a basket outside my door I am ready. Not even kid goat babies, they are not due until Easter. Last night Nikki adopted a little one poundish yorkie. The mother was abandoned, a handful of apparently purebred yorkies were left along the roadside over a period of a couple of weeks.Our FB friend adopted one from the Lakeville pound when oops it gave birth to 5 babies. My Nikki adopted the smallest and named her Keke.
    She was hoping for a dog that would fit in her purse, a wriggly, kissable, accessory that she could care for and show off. Don had some concern about the attention span of a person who wants a puppy that would fit in her purse. But I knew it would be a win win for me. If Nikki loses interest I just got a free half way trained puppy. If Nikki does not lose interest I get a little dog to play with but not fret over!
    I have been wanting another dog since our Beardie Lily passed away late 2011. But my life is still a bit too hectic to get another Beardie. All that fur! But I would love another especially since we now have livestock. It would be nice to have a herd dog who can herd more than children! The new pup has made me think about Lily a lot. She adored all animals and babies of any species. She would have adored this little bundle of fur.
    Everyone in the house of course thinks she is the cutest thing. Even Donnie good naturedly lugged her around while making his lunch because she was awake and he worried about her being underfoot. She really is a tiny little muffin and I am so afraid one of us will sit on her or step on her!
     The other animals though have been fascinating to watch. Take Bambam for instance. Now he has always loved other dogs and cats and really got great pleasure whenever we brought a new kitten home. But he was in deep mourning last winter over Lily's demise and when Sheldon and Lotus joined us he never really bonded with them.
   Also for whatever reason Cookie has always driven him crazy. They tolerate each other but mostly they vie for the same laps and same snacks and so there is no real love lost there. But he took one look at little Keke and was immediately smitten. He is turning himself inside out trying to figure out how to play with her. Cookie too is fascinated although she skiddles away when the pup gets too close.
    Olympia our eldest cat is stalking about with an air of offended dignity. She has no interest in anything smaller than herself and pointedly ignores bunnies in the house and Sparrow the parrot. Sheldon and Lotus have not yet decided what their reaction should be and they spend a lot of time observing Keke from great heights above her.
    Meanwhile having a baby in the house is fun and worrisome and wonderful. She is so tiny and I worry she will get lost or eat something she shouldn't. We all watch her eat and sleep, just like we do with a human infant. That and debate her upbringing.
   I say a roomy crate. Nikki wants her on a little princess pillow. Don just wants to avoid crushing her as he walks about the house. How much should she eat? How often? Does she really need toys? She herself is so tiny the tennis ball knocked her over when we rolled it to her. Even the tiniest of kitten collars is too large for her. A the patter of little feet around the house again.

Sandals quick getaway

   So we left Boston at 5:30 and arrived in Jamaica at 11:40 am. The Sandals Montego Bay resort is literally next to the runway! In ten minutes we were being escorted to our room where we got the first of many free and joyful surpirses. Now we had booked the second lowest room category. The Seagrapes building rooms overlook the tennis court and gardens but a quick walk around the building lands guests first to the swim up pool bar, then the hot tub, then the fire pit, then the carribean sea! So although the view isnt the most perfect thing the proximity is wonderful. Vacation rooms, like real estate are all about location location location!
    But instead of turning right to the Seagrapes building our Sandals guide turned left towards a small 2 story cottage. I said to him. "Where are we going? I know we are in the Seagrapes building. We overlook the tennis courts and gardens and apparently the runway!"
    With a big laugh my Sandals guide said, "I am sorry my lady but your view for your stay is..." Then he dramatically opened the back door revealing a huge room and at the end of the room, out the front door we could see our patio and the ocean, "You view is the sea!" turns out Sandals and our TripGuy.com travel agent had bumped us up 9 room catagories to a junior butler suite (sans butler.) The bathroom was bigger than our first apartment with its gigantic walk in shower, double vanities, and whirl pool tub.
    There was also a thank you complimentary bottle of wine and champagne. (Sadly those were removed from us during a bag search at the airport. Apparently you cannot bring liquor in your take on, even unopened liquor unless you BUY IT AT THE AIRPORT!) Had I known that I would have gulped it all down during our stay!
   Anyway there was a thank you snack, welcome home tshirts, and even an offer for a free breakfast on our patio in honor of Donnie's birthday.
   Every moment of our stay was wonderful relaxing and fun. Even at full capacity there is always a little hideway for 2 people to spend some time alone. Don and I found every hammock, swing, and adirondack chair for 2 in the gardens, near the ocean. etc.
   We played pool where it is possible that Donnie outragesously cheats and I just have not caught him. YET. We played darts, and checkers, and shuffle board. We sailed and kayaked, and snorkaled. (I even saw a scary eel which was neat and gigantic.)
    There was plenty of time to fall alseep by the ocean, float in the salty water or swim up to the bar in the pool and order something sewwt and fruity. We ate way too much food and saw all kinds of birds including pea cocks which reside at the neighboring Sandals resort. I almost went to the clothing optional beach at that resort but just could not bring myself to do it. Maybe someday.
    Our trip home was equally full of free and fun. The direct flight home was over sold and after much negotiating we were given 2 tickets in the emergency row (more leg room) to Philly where a free shuttle drove us to a swanky hotel with free food vouchers and then caught the morning lfight to Boston.....first class. We are so lucky.
    But I think more than luck plays into it. I am not sure I believe in Karma although many of my friends do. But we sat near NY folks who were also bumped from their flight. They were so mad at US Air they screamed- SCREAMED- at the ticket desk lady in Jamaica! She had to ask the guy to stop screaming at her as she was not his child.
   They were furious and fought and when they heard the next day that we got first class tickets they got mad all over again. But as I listened to this guy I was stunned. Can you imagine a grown man screaming at some poor customer service lady? Its not like he called some big mucky muck in corporate US AIR. He yelled at this poor owman who was doing the best she could. He acknowldeged it was not the lady's fault, but that did not prevent him from yelling at her. He did not have work today nor did he have little kids to get home too.
   When we had a problem last year at Sandals Grande Ocho Rio we sent a separate letter about our concerns to our travel agent who passed it along to management. We wanted the problem acknowdelged and addressed but why scream about it? Anyway out of that letter we got 3 free comp nights, the very nights we just spent at Montego Bay.
   I dont think its karma. Plenty of good and bad happen with much unfairness and randomness to it. But I do know sticking up for yourself in a polite and perhaps firm way is the way to go. That and have a little patience and a sense of wonder.
    Now I have free tickets for our next adventure. Plus I found a get away place that is 5 hours away, and so many joyful sexy funny paeceful loving memories!
  As a final note I shall just say thanks to my travel companion who is willing to wedge his long legs into a plane seat to adventure with me plus sing Beatles songs for me at the Sandals talent show, then give ME the prize he wins for it. In spite of his determination to hog the blankets wherever we go, he is also willing to get me popcorn, fetch the sunscreen, share his last bite of bacon... and never ever in his entire life scream at another person who is just trying to do their job.

Escaping for a while

     Tomorrow morning right at this time I will be in an airplane, getting ready to touch down in Jamaica! For three nights free, well mostly free. To complain about all the last minute details would be selfish and really, who cares how much running around there is when in 24 hours there will be beach, sand, waves, food, and beverage for free, well mostly free?
    Last year Don and I saved up for 5 nights in Jamaica. We have made a pact to try to get away for relaxation just the 2 of us. No more of this 'waiting until retirement.' If my neck surgery taught me anything, its that who knows what our health will be in 20 years? Better to enjoy now our active adventures. Besides marriages are falling by the wayside in our anniversary category (nearly 30 years) we want to nurture what we have, to KEEP what we have!
     Our trip to Jamaica opened our eyes to the wonder of the Sandals business promise. We thought our 2 trips to St Lucia were magical because of the island and were not certain Sandals in Ocho Rios could ever match it. Well it turns out Sandals delivers wonderful service whichever island you are on, and although as a destination St Lucia has it all over Jamaica, Jamaica is much closer!
   During our stay at the Grande in Ocho we had wonderful experiences including being up graded about 6 room categories, we went for a camel ride, fed ostriches (not a true Jamaican experience you say? Well I had a ball.) We glass bottom boated, and sailed, and snorkeled, all included. It was wonderful and marred only by one insistent inconvenient nuisance, the photographing by professionals of the newly upgraded Sandals.
   When we returned our travel agent Ruth Demuth of Trip Guy (highly recommend!) asked us questions about our stay, specifically if the photo shoot had interfered. So I sent her 2 responses, the first one highlighting our fabulous time and the second highlighting the problems caused by the photo shoot. Now I never would have even mentioned them had she not asked, and I did so in a separate email because of course we had an amazing time. We never let  floods, broken down vans, forgotten suitcases or anything else ruin a trip, why let photographers do us in? We are sturdy travelers!
   She instructed me that these very problems are why we should utilise a travel agent (I did not know this but it will make subsequent trips even better now that I do!) She also sent both letters to Sandals management.
    Sandals offered us 3 comp nights to make right our dissatisfaction. Isn't that amazing? Now they knew by our first email that we would not be 'badmouthing them.' They knew we were overall happy customers. They even knew we had plans to go back. But they still offered us the free nights!
   So Don and I picked the closest Sandals to an airport to cut down on travel, and Sandals Mobay here we come. We are not planning any great off resort travel adventures since we arrive Wednesday and leave Saturday. Although 2 local Sandals resorts are available to visit. One has its own private island and we can eat swim and play there for free!
   This trip was suppose to celebrate my graduating with my Masters. 2 points of a failed math mtel stand in my way. As a matter of fact, I am taking a course now and the workload for it is overwhelming between now and Monday when the first class officially meets! Plus a week from Saturday I am taking the middle school general science test so there is a ton of chemistry to study.
   Therefore, this trip will really be an escape! No math, no science, no kids, no fretting. Just a little time to relax with Don, focus on each other, and maybe sit at the swim up bar!

Facebook 'friends' and negativity in your private space.

   I cannot remember if I have written about this before. Perhaps I just spoke about it with a couple of close friends. I have a dilema and I am sure I am not alone. It has to do with Facebook and how people's comments hit close to home.
   In real life you tend to hang around people who share your basic belief system. Many close friend's tend to have gone to school with you, grew up in your neighborhood, that sort of thing. So for intance many of my friends are Catholic. People like my friends Maureen and Eileen, heck we made First Communion and Confirmation together! Lots of my friends no longer attend church for various reasons, some personal some global. But that is ok. As far as I know, no one is  offended that I go and I am not offended that they do not.
   My circle of friends for the most part is white, Judeo- Christian, American. This I suppose is mostly because I grew up in a small town and still live and work in one where most of the make up is thus. My friends seem evenly divided Democrat and Republican not that I have looked too closely. I pretty much steer away from political conversations because I often get frustrated by how the conversation evolves. I suppose thats why they say never bring up politics or religion at a party!
   Not all my friends have kids, not all are into animals, not all have deep faith, not all are well educated, not all are positive people. Not all the people on FB are really even my 'friends'. We are coworkers or rabbit breeders, that sort of thing. We share a connection and so a FB friendship. I nearly always accept when someone 'friend' requests me. I rarely think to go through my friends list and 'weed them out' nor do I pay any attention if someone chooses to 'unfriend' me. It is such an odd concept really- Friending and unfriending people you do not usually know intimately well.
   But I struggled during this last presidential election and the terrible tragedy at Sandy Hook. Many people felt very differently about things than I did. Certainly I found many comments thought provoking. But dozens of people mired themselves in nasty creepy negativity. Why must the other ideas or other side be so terrible? How does that make your side more right?
   This leads me to todays general topic in the media and thus Facebook. The Pope has made the unusual decision to retire. Some of my Youth Ministry and priest friends immediately offered their opinions and beliefs or clarifications. I found this enlightneing. Some FB friends cracked jokes which were quite funny. My sister posted about how the geek in her would immerse herself this Lent in all the traditions of electing a new pope. I loved it all.
   But then today a FB friend posted the following "The catholic church a systems that cultivates promotes, and produces sexual predators."
   I was sitting in my newly warm room (now that power was finally restored) sipping tea when I read this. It felt like a very personal attack. I was offended deeply, I even felt threatened in my own home. It took me a long while to try to sort out my emotions and to contemplate how to respond.
  Now I understand people's negativity is theirs, they own it. But when you are sitting in your own home and read something like that on your computer, it feels very much like a violation. If a person said that to me in a crowd or at a party, I know I would say "I would really like to talk with you about this some more but you need to know I found that statement very upsetting."
   But on the computer it is a very different thing, or it feels like it. Also I think the printed word has a very powerful affect on me. Quite frankly some things people have posted have changed how I think of them and in a very negative way.
   I like having an eclectic group of friends. I treasure my bunny people, my youth minister friends, my coworkers. I have learned a great deal. But I need to do something about my friend list. The question is, do I delete them and tell them privately why? Do I block their posts and not say anything?
    I love Facebook because it allows me to stay in touch with people I would rarely see, like my sister, but who I enjoy. I feel it has brought me closer to long distance aquaintences and made me see people in more intimate and loving ways, like when coworkers cheerfully brag about thier kids accomplishments, or friends talk about their new homes or pet additons. I even have a few friends whom I have never met in person but I respect and adiore them from their FB comments over the years.
   But I do not want the deep negavitvity to pour into my home from my computer as I sip tea and try to catch up with people.

Blizzards and things

  When I was growing up storms of great power were wonderfully exciting. Well, that is how I remember it anyway. The Blizzard of 78 was more of a reality check, when my mom was trapped at Brockton hospital for a week working, and our dear neighbor, a fireman, suffered a heart attack at a call during the Blizzard. A teenage girl up the street was also killed playing chicken with a downed live wire.
    But for the most part it meant reading by candle light, missing school, playing in the snow and gawking at all the downed trees. I wish my parents were around to see if I am remembering accurately!
   As an adult however big storms have not been as fun and exciting. I always think the kids will have fun. But when they were little I worried about lit candles and they always seemed to bicker more and not be able to entertain themselves. Now that they are older they always seem to want to be at someone elses' house and are frantic without constant connection to their shows, games, and friends.
   I get all Little House On The Prairie and keep the fire burning and have 3 hot meals a day inventively cooked on just the stove top. Pa Blauss keeps the driveway and animal pathways clear of snow and brings in armloads of freshly chopped firewood. We are always well stocked for 2 days without power and in minutes I have candles, water, flashlights etc ready and able.
   No one seems particularly impressed however. As a matter of fact on the night before a storm as I fill water bottles for the animals and toilet, they mock. "Oh it won't come. The storm will go out to see." Hell will freeze over before they ever say. "Good thinking mom."
  We had no power from Friday night until Monday night and sure enough I was completely stocked for the first 2 days. Thankfully my friend Carol let us refill bottles at her house and gave us  extra firewood, when Don's pile became too wet and the logs too large to chop. Our  friend/neighbor Joanne lent a generator which kept the living room in the low 50s and recharged Yon's precious DVD player.
    Last night after the power returned Don and I reassessed our prep plans. I am definitely going to pick up more wet wipes and keep them in the emergency kit. All the years we had little kids we simply had them in the house, but no more. My one box of them (that I use at bunny shows) was a godsend so we added that to the list. We also decided to keep 100$ stashed. This is a tough one, since at any given moment Don and I might together have 10 dollars in our pockets. He never buys anything so does not keep money. I view small bills in my wallet as extra money and end up buying a treat for myself or whichever kid is with me.
   But when the town began getting limited power back many places could only take cash. Don spent an hour in a gas line. (Full disclosure he did apologise and say those rare but magic words "YOU WERE RIGHT". I had wanted a full tank of gas, he thought it silly. But we were running the van to keep cell phones charged.)Anyway he watched many people ahead of him get to the front of the line after waiting, only to be sent away because they did not have cash.
   Overall we did well. There is minimal damage to the goat roof which will not cost much to fix. I only threw a way a few pounds of meat, although the chickens did feast upon defrosted pizzas and Hot Pockets. Everyone kept their sense of humor intact, and Joe and Yon didn't actually kill us with smoke inhalation when they took turns tending the fire.
   It was stressful and would have been more fun if I did not have to be the entertainment director for the kids. Our biggest worry turned out to be the parrot who nearly froze to death the first night. After that he remained closest to the fire and after his initial fear I think he rather enjoyed the heat and attention from everyone. Some of my friends are still without power and others are dealing with faulty heaters, well pumps, and flooding. We have been spared that and got to enjoy the camaraderie and excitement that a big storm brings. AND a renewed appreciation for modern conveniences.

The White Car

   When my mom passed away of a broken heart, fifteen months after my dad died, her white Ford Taurus station wagon sat in her driveway for almost ten months. Neither my brother nor I could bare to move it. She loved that car so. Sometimes I would sit in it because it still had 'her' scent.
    But it eventually had to move and became mine. For nine years I lovingly drove it, always happy to be in something that meant so much to her. She was funny, my mom. She grew up in a poor family and worked very hard for everything she earned. She grew to adore her material things, and stuff  like her hot tub, pool, sewing machines, and cars, brought her great childlike joy.
   In the summer I knew it might not make another inspection this January but I still had hopes. I therefore was very angry when Corey took a job way down Cape and his only mode of transportation was the white car. His reasoning was that it was two dollars more an hour than a job in Plymouth. I was furious because of course 2 dollars more an hour would then be spent on gas and oil, not to mention the wear and tear on my car. He could have ridden a bike or been conveniently dropped off by one of us in Plymouth, not so the Cape. I gave him until Christmas to come up with his own vehicle. Of course he never quite managed to save enough.
   His own car deadline was moved until the need of January and he lucked out as Don's mom offered us her mini van. I told him he had to make my car pass inspection and then he could have it. Not only did it not pass inspection but it now sits, engine seized, in my driveway.
   I am heartbroken. I did not even get to take one last drive in it with Yon. Donnie thinks on Wednesday when the weather warms he might be able to get it started, giving us Wednesday and Thursday to drive it before the sticker expires. But I know he holds no hope that it will really start, and he is just trying to make me feel better.
   After Thursday we will sell it for scrap to the junk yard. Don is making Corey give me some money for my mom's white car and I will use it for my new bee hive and for when the baby goats are born. I will spend the little bit of money on my fun hobbies, something my mom would heartily approve.
   But tonight, on my parents 52 anniversary I can not help but be melancholy. I loved my mom, she loved that car and while it sits in my driveway I still have a piece of her with me. Sometime after Thursday it will no longer be just outside my door.
   Silly thing, to love a car. But I filled it with wonderful memories after mom's passing- of driving out to visit my sister, of taking it to NH to go camping, of going to countless fairs and rabbit shows. My mom called it her Taurus. I always called it the white car because I can never remember the make of any of our vehicles. I will miss the white car. The car my mom loved.

the hole Joesqueezedthru

 

Childhood dreams

  The bathroom project continues although the challenges of no toilet have gotten easier for Joe and I. We are currently ensconced in a cozy hotel room about two miles from the Northeast Poultry Congress.
  Tomorrow we shall help or observe kids from the Fowl Play 4H club show their birds and enter in showmanship competitions. Joe was talked into coming to the Congress by one of his 4H leaders but too late to enter competatively. I am just grateful to be here, in a lovely FREE hotel with a working bathroom.
   It has also been fun reconnecting with Joe who has mostly outgrown me. On this trip he has been witty, engaging, and very insightful. He is amazed at the giant hotel and obvious expense. Classiest place he has ever slept in, he says.
   Over supper he shared that just yesterdy he fullfilled a long held childhood dream (his words exactly.)When no one was looking he climbed up from the cellar to the bathroom through the hole in the floor. He said when he was about halfway up thru the floor Nikki walked by, saw him, and kept going. I could not stop laughing. Leave it to Joe to have crawling up through the floor from one room  to another as a childhood dream.
   As soon as he got to the hotel today, he raced in to take a warm shower and use the toilet. It was mighty cold using the outhouse this morning with a.m.temperatures a brisk 19 degrees. That we both agreed on. But now we are both snug and warm in our separate queensize beds watching tv.
   I have been reading up on all my Bee school material which is fascinating. We have been talking about goats, bunnies, and of course everything CHICKENS. When we fall into a companionable silence I marvel at how fast the years go in childhood. My last little buddy to accompany me to shows.  I have 3 show seasons left before child 7 leaves Neverland to go off to college.
  I have no chickens of my own, at least not yet. But I am happy my youngest son still wants to share the fun with me.
  
 

Day One of DIY bathroom

 

     Today began the first day of construction on the new bathroom floor. This is a job that should have been done a number of years ago, and has been procrastinated on extensively these last two

years. I am not going to complain about the procrastinator however. He had reasons which were more than reason able to him. Moreover he is the one doing all the manual labor.

But I had growing fears of one day going to sit on the toilet and then spectacularly crashing thru the floor, throne and all, to land on top of the washing machine. So I ordered a Bouse House, circled a date on the calendar, and then charged every non-in-school person living here a 100$ to get the ball rolling. That the dates of construction will coincide with Joe and I being at the Poultry Congress (out in Springfield in our own hotel room, paid for by his wonderful 4H group) is a happy coincidence

I assure you.

Don and I have selected tile flooring and the plan is to replace the wall tile with bead board and then paint the wall above. (Nikki gets to pick the paint color since she offered to paint.) The walls are a mess but that is not what concerned Donnie. The subflooring  and the support beams are what had him in a procrastinating funk. That and any plumbing challenges which might occur.

But so far so good. Now that he has exposed what lies beneath he is feeling hopeful. Well, he is feeling sore and achy and hopeful. He was tickled by one discovery though. The wall behind the bathroom door has been patched numerous times, both by the original owners and us. There is that sweet spot mid wall where, if you shove the door open hard enough, you can hit the wall with the door knob and slowly poke a hole. Said hole must have been irresistible to small hands. Behind the wall Don found 4 toothbrushes and a tiny squirt gun. Say a prayer to the patron Saint of Construction. (would that be St Joseph The worker? He was a carpenter after all.) Offer a whispered prayer that further construction does not unveil expensive or time consuming complications.

 

A coupla questions from a cold-slowed mind.

Still not feeling well. It is more than a cold but less than the flu. Or maybe its a milder version of the flu because I did get the shot back in November. Ah well, this too shall pass. I did take a nice walk out along the power lines when it was not quite misty and the sun was trying to beam through the cloud cover.
    There was a lone swan silently floating in the blue/green pond that use to be a stump swamp. The swan looked so forlorn but as I watched its progress I could not help but ponder what the heck all those dump trucks, pumps, and earth movers are doing out there. It looks like they are draining the swamps and moving the water and removing dirt. But maybe they are moving the clay deposit? What about all the iron ore that stains the earth?
   We are on top of  a huge sand bar so once you dig more than six inches into our land all you get is sand. Go down about six feet and it is gorgeous beach sand. But over along the power lines about a mile from our house the earth changes and its a patchwork of sand and clay, ribboned with iron.
   I have no idea what the workers are doing out there. I do know they are slowly stripping the area of loam, gravel, sand, etc. Its fascinating to see the changes of what was once woods and swamp. But it does peak my curiosity. What happened to all the wildlife? There used to be deer, turtles, frogs, coyotes, squirrels, raccoons, rabbits, fox, and all kinds of birds. I know there had been little fish in the water too but what is there now?  I am not even sure who I would even ask about it.
     New signs posted say no trespassing and they seem more insistent so I am not even sure how much longer we can walk and wander there. We have done so for over 20 years but it seems we shall have to find a new place to meander. I have no big point or poignant statement to pass on. No great words of wisdom. My head is full of  the sludge and muck from my overactive sinus cavities. So I don't even have a blog ending. Maybe a question then, does anyone know how I can find out what they are dredging for? Why is the water blue green and devoid of life? What is the plan? that is all.

January's study list.

    I am online today devoting some hours to study and research. Of course top on the list is my math mtel studying. But never fear I promised not to flood you with complaints and dread over that one. I have decided to intermix that study with a few other things I have been musing about.
      First in order is this year's garden design. I have been debating whether or not to pull up the corner raised bed which is closest to the road. It was suppose to be a lovely flower garden with 3 season color. But the rugosa roses have taken over with their spiky thorns and although it is still pretty, all the other bloom is slowly being pushed out.
    The other thing I have been thinking about is some color or interest near around Yon's hot tub. We put it where I had my original little patio back when I was the only one involved in the garden. Since that time of course both Don and Tim have taken an interest, and we have two large patio spaces that we now use. As a matter of fact in the last few years that little original space has been where I tuck garden implements and the cold frames etc. Now however, someone is sitting there in the hot tub nearly every night and so it would be nice to plant  some moon flowers for color and scent in the evening, that sort of thing.
   Plus there is always the crop rotation to consider. What bed did I plant peas on last year? Where should the cucumbers go this year? What about adding another small raised bed near the pool? Should I make a little patio where the stairs are and add more than just the 2 tubs of lavender? It really only gets good sun from about 11-4. But perhaps broccoli would do well there, or different kinds of lettuce which always seem to like a bit of shade.....
   The other third thing I am researching is preparing to take the science mtel since this could make me more marketable for full time teaching in the fall. The mtel would enable me to teach middle school science and THAT test is much easier and more fun to study for than math.
   The fourth and final thing I am studying for of course is all things goat. I just rejoined the American Dairy Goat Association. I had let my membership lapse since it is a rather pricy club to belong to, at least in my mind. Plus they would not let me have my herd name be 3B's Farm. They decided I could be 3 Blauss farm. Apparently they decide what your herd name is based on past herd blabbidy blah. The herd name goes on every pedigree so I had no option really. They also would not let me choose my 3B tattoo which I use in every bunny ear and have for close to two decades. I have to use "BSA2". Again I have no option. Kinda bossy and stubborn for an organization don't you think? Just like a goat! Plus their 'guide' book and periodic magazine for members is written in teeny tiny print! I did protest that since bunny organizations who charge less to members have nice regular size books and periodicals that middle age members can read without a magnifying glass.
   Since I am complaining I will tell you the other weird thing. You cannot access their full online services unless you send in by SNAIL mail a request for a special pin number. Who does that? Why can't I just email them and give them my ADGA member number or something?
    Anyway, I am trying to get all my research done before our first farm birth's of our livestock. I am quite excited for the babies arrivals and to get back into milk production and cheese making. This has led me to side research on milk fed meat birds since with two goats in full udder we should have milk to spare.
   I have so much to do as I get ready for my 50th birthday in April. I am thinking the next 20 years will be devoted to teaching and farming and of course travel. There are just not enough hours in the day to do and learn all the fascinating things in this world.
   This might be the last full of good cheer blog since on Wednesday the outhouse comes and we start tearing the bathroom apart to replace decrepit floors and saggy miserable walls. Perhaps it will all go smooth with no hidden surprises. But that has never been my construction experience although certainly there is always a first time.

2013 dreams

   This semester I will not be taking any college courses. Instead I will be studying to take the MathMTEL again (OK I will not write anything negative or fearful, you already know my thoughts and feelings on that score!) As soon as that is passed I will then study and take the middle school science and history MTELS since I know I can pass and this will make me more marketable in the town I love. Although as you all know I really just want a sweet class of inclusion kindergarten kids who are right at the beginning of their educational careers still full of wonder and magic.....
  I am also saving Tuesday mornings for my weight watchers since giving up is not an option :>) the thyroid issues (that's right ladies I have every fat girl's dream excuse, IT IS MY THYROID'S FAULT) seem to be improving.
    Last year's resolution to get in my best health ever to go into my 50th year had a few bumps in the road but it is all smooth sailing now and I am eager for this year's adventures. One of my biggest secret  plans is to try to work out a way to get to St Lucia for two weeks for my 30th wedding anniversary. This of course is not based on any sort of financial reality but dreaming big has never been a bad thing, right?
   Meanwhile I have picked up two tutoring jobs, one in math and the other in literacy. I will apply to every full time position come spring and hopefully I shall be putting something back into my retirement funds come fall. As it stands now Don and I shall work until the day we die :>)
   This is all good, and we have weathered this terrible Depression (that they still call it a recovering recession baffles me). It has been a bit of a struggle but all our bills are paid and we are still in our home which puts us way ahead of many of our neighbors. Every road in this town has an empty house, its just so sad. I have always been grateful that Don and I never did the whole refinance thing. I never could understand the 'get something for nothing' offers and although we might have been wiser to shave a few percentage points off our mortgage I could never sign something I did not understand.
   I do plan on moving in the next few years to a place with more land to farm and our 2 lady goats should be adding to our future this spring with kids. I would love to talk to the board of health guy all about building a Grade A Dairy but since the actual creation of that is still a few years down the road I wonder if he would take the time to see me?
      Plans and dreams- I always have plenty of those. It is still hard to get my mind around the no more little kids thing. Don is right and I do love the freedom to travel and to work with our animals both of which would be mostly put aside if we have more children. Still, I would drop it all for a new baby. I even got to hold one the other night at the school safety meeting and oh my arms and heart ached from want for hours afterwards. Helping children as an educator does fulfill some of that need but still.....
   Meanwhile Mama is due in April and Matilda in June. If the summer St Lucia plans do not work out it would be the perfect time to get a little Beardie pup with herding in her genes. I am looking over garden expansion plans and day dreaming about milk fed meat hens and thinking about bunny chicken and goat shows. Lots of plans this time of year.
   I am sure I will shortly writing and bemoaning our latest plan. Although winter  is not the best time to fix the bathroom floor, I have begun to feel I may end up sitting on the washing machine below one day when I go to sit on the toilet. That floor and the walls need to be fixed so you shall have to tune in to adventures of the handy house in January!

New Year

   I have a few weight watcher friends and we keep in touch via Facebook private messaging. Usually we talk about the weight watcher topic of the week, share our exercise plans, encourage healthy eating. Sometimes it gets more personal. Always it is supportive. I have not been to a meeting now in a couple of months but I have been trying to eat healthy and move. Here is a note I sent to my friends today. It is a reminder to myself about the struggles and triumphs. I am blogging it so that I will keep in mind the many successes and not get discouraged.
Happy New Year. Ladies this is the year we all reach goal. Next Tuesday marks 5 years at weight watchers for me. In those years I lost and regained about 65 pounds. But I am not going to think of Tuesday's weigh in as a failure or even a start over. During this time I have had two major surgeries and my thyroid went crazy. But I also ran road races, lowered blood pressure and blood sugars, swam all the way across a pond and adventured 3 times in the Caribbean. I have tried new food met wonderful ww friends and lived. Of course i wish this were easier for me. Of course I wish I was a size 8. But I have lived the five years healthier than the last 20 no matter what the scale says. I am not giving up and I am truly thankful for the encouragement and advice you have all bestowed. See you Tuesday