Mad as a Meatball

A little boy I knew a few years ago became so angry one day that he stood shaking and speechless with rage. Finally he exploded "I am mad as a meatball!"


Mad as a meatball. Seeing his quivering yet rigid body, and hearing the tremors of fury that shook his voice, I was in awe at this tiny seething dynamo of rage. That kind of anger is worthy of a grudging respect. He was normally a cheerful little guy but on that day the emotion of outrage filled his being until it could not be contained. Until he became mad as a meatball.


Being a normally happy go lucky sort of person that much negative emotion holds a certain awe for me as well as an appreciation that I am not as a rule an angry sort of person.


I know people whose first response to every untoward event is unmitigated rage and quite frankly it is exhausting and I find myself distancing from that sort of personality. People who are certain that everyone has a hidden agenda that everyone is against them and out for themselves are just too draining for me to be to close too.


But when a normally peace-able sort of person is in the midst of, I guess it would be called righteous indignation, well I have a healthy respect for that.


Well today that mad as a meatball person was me. Or rather still is me but I am trying to let go of what I can. Boy when you get THAT mad your heart really pounds as does your temple. For me after the initial inertia of sheer rage I then can speak one mile a minute VERY loudly and with deadly and indignant accuracy.


I guess technically I am no longer mad as a meatball because my heart and head are working at normal speed and I am thinking before I word things (out loud and in the blog.)


Apparently today for me was to become a veritable Monday of a Wednesday with everything that could go wrong doing so. Add to that some general inconveniences, a deep selfishness of a few key people and some hurtful actions and you have...well you have me mad as a meatball!


Scientists in the 80s claimed anger was bad bad bad for you but I think that has changed over time. Being grouchy all the time or as a first line of defence cannot possibly be healthy. But I have found when I am well and truly furious THINGS GET DONE. And in a hurry.....


OK I need to settle down. I have solved what I could solve. I have settled what I could settle. It is time to simmer down.... think I will head out to milk Mama goat and spend sometime with the bunnies. After that we have a couple of TV shows that resume tonight and a little quality boobtube time will defintely be good for my bloodpressure.


Hope no one makes you mad as a meatball but if you find yourself in such a situation perhaps you can think of the little phrase coined by that irate youngster and perhaps it will ease your rage to a manageable level. Peace.

Leaving Home

You raise your children to be good citizens, well functioning, happy, productive, adults in this fast paced modern world. I can rememeber when they were little and in the midst of one stage or another. One of the key questions I debated with myself was, is this a habit I can put up with when they are 3 or 10? Will this help them to be well adjusted grownups?

I babysat for kids where I had to walk the floor hours before they would fall alseep. That made me determined NOT to do so with my own kids. I knew kids who whacked and wailed upon their siblings and all I could envision was adults beating up one another and so there was no hitting allowed in my house. (If you hit your sibling you had to not only apologise but give your sibling your snack at snack time. They may not have been sorry but by the time they watched their sibling enjoy their snack they made sure not to hit again!)

I wanted them to be independent responsible people....but not too independent!

As our children began to prepare for college I was amazed at the parents who had seemingly no trouble with their children going way far away to college. I kept telling my kids that people come from all over the world to go to schools in New England and there was no need for them to be more than an hour or two away from their mother!

3 out of 4 of our older children chose to live on campus and although I missed them terribly I knew I could 'get' to them if I had to in about 60 minutes by car. This brought great comfort and I certainly encouraged them to think for themselves and make the right choices. I also felt confident in their skills to be just fine. But I liked knowing I could get to them if I needed too, and all the kids as they have transistioned to full adulthood have called, emailed, texted asking for advice on various aspects of their very busy lives. But now one of our kids is making a momentuous decision. Actually it is already been made but today they were telling their respective work places.

My wonderful gifted talented soninlaw has been offered a dream position at the company he has always wanted to work for. Not just offered, but positively showered with benefits. These people see the amazing skills he has and wants him for their product.

But their company is based in SEATTLE WASHINGTON....three thousand miles from my house.

Mary is going to be working on a consultant basis doing her geneaology and WRITING a book her place wants to publish. So of course she can do these things with her husband in SEATTLE WASHINGTON three thousand miles away from my house.

Mary and Matt had asked our advice as they began this process to looking for a more challenging company for Matts very real talent.... there are smaller good companies here in the East but some of the best and brightest are out West.

Both kids (ok they have been married nearly 5 years, but still they are my kids) have always been thoughtful obedient and caring. They wanted our honest opinion. I wanted to say "STAY WITH ME- DO NOT GO ANYWHERE- I CANNOT BEAR TO HAVE YOU SO FAR AWAY!"

But of course here is the thing: You raise your kids to be independent. So what I said, what Don and I have always said right along even as our hearts were breaking. "Of course you should pursue your dreams. Of course you should take this chance. This is the time to do it."

The area where they will work and live sounds wonderful (Belleview just outside of Seattle.) Their jobs will bring them great joy and wonderful challenges. This is the perfect time for them to try something new. If it is not for them they can always come back home.

But..... how can I go about my day knowing I cannot get to them? THEY will be fine. They should do this. I am so very happy they have the chance .

Can you imagine in this economy having the opportunity of a fascinating job with excellent money and wonderful benefits?

They are more than ready to leave home.... but I am just not quite there yet. I better get there in a hurry though because they will be out West in a month.

Education and Society

Before I ever entered the room for my 7 hour class(it meets only 4 times) I had already nearly psyched myself out. The over 300 hundred pages of reading that had to be done before the first class I could handle. Although Locke and Rousseau are as scintillating as I remember, the reading was doable.

But the 3 assignments, ugg. I had to list 10 of the top problems facing Education today. I had to write a two page essay answering the questions "What is education? What is the purpose of education?" Then I had to write a two page personal philosophy stating my beliefs about education incorporating student, teacher, curriculum, community, etc.

The tricky part? All the writing had to be done with out the use of a pronoun. How in heavens name do you write a personal philosophy without ever using the word "I"? I labored over the assignments making numerous revisions and then moved on to fret about the readings. Perhaps I was suppose to take notes? I am a very fast reader and have somewhat of a photographic memory. So I am able to remember what was on the page when we talk about it in class. Therefore I do not take notes when I read. If there is something in the text I do not understand or I am curious about I simply research more of the topic. Of course since the advent of the internet this is much easier to do.

By the time I made it into the class room on the second floor I was having heart palpitations. I slid into a seat in back (like a good Catholic, we never take the front row.) In looking around I happened to notice that the window was open and a lovely sea salt breeze was wafting in. Even better there was a magnificient view of the ocean.

Slowly my body released its tension and I could not but help contemplate those hardy Pilgrims who also had this daily view. We of course read about them and their attitudes and contributions towards education in America.

Anway my ocean view and heaven sent breezy seat really put me into a learn all I can mode.The class was fascinating and by the time I left I was so drained I was not certain I could even drive home. What an interesting stimulating EXHAUSTING day.

My classmates and I are slowly bonding and I can see how helpful the cohort theory in a Masters program can be. During our lunch break it was a bit intimidating to hear about people leaving their jobs or cutting back on their hours to focus on their education however. There is no such thing of cutting back on my schedule....so.... ah well suffice unto the day dot dot dot .

This Masters endeavor is proving to be quite a challenge...but an interesting one!

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

Looking out at the road rushing under my wheels

Today I had a little adventure. While I was milking the goat (at 6am.) and moving the 3 high schoolers along so they would make the bus, it dawned on me that I would have about 3 hours of uninterrupted time in the day. Granted my brother, Tim, and Julie were all at home. But if I did not mind moving my adventure out on the road I could be by myself taking care of myself.
You know how rare and unusual this is. Now granted I had more than enough on my to do list to occupy ten times the amount of free hours I had available. But except for a couple of calls I needed to make and one small errand everything else could wait.
Quickly taking care of my have tos I went out giddy with adventurous spirit. In the driveway I faced two options. I could take the van, or grab the keys to Dons standard truck and drive that.
Well I love my van. It fits all of us and the animals and with all the seats in, sits 15. The Blaussmmobile is recognised every where in town and although it embarrasses certain household members this does not phase me in the least.
It has both heat AND airconditioning, something not all Blauss cars possess and it was bought with the money left from my parents so I always think of them as I drive it.
For all of that though it is not exactly a car of great excitement. It does not make one feel free and easy when it is impossible to parallel park (for me anyway!)
So feeling like I was getting away with something I grabbed the keys to Dons truck and took off. I am not in any way a car person. I happen to own 3 Ford vehicles but it took someone else to tell me that as it was not by any intention. I crushed my bunny friends feelings the other day at a rabbit show when he proudly asked if I had seen his new car. "Oh, the gray one? Its pretty I guess is it new?" He groaned and exclaimed "Its a CADILLAC!"
Ooops, who knew? Apparently lots of people but not me. Sorry Jim. But Dons little truck I do know is admired because every time I drive it you think I was a busty skinny young thing. It (and therefore me by extension) gets lots of admiring glances by guys. It is very funny.
Guys apparently check out trucks like they check out chicks! To me the truck has always been a small bone of contention between Donnie and I. When he got it I called it his midlife crisis, country style. It is a standard so almost no one else in the family can drive it. The cab is small and truly only fits two people and we are a family of 10. Now he will argue that there are 2 seats in the back of the cab. Only Joe can actually fit into one but everyone else has to fold in half to squeeze into and remain on one of the other seats. Have you ever ridden in a car while seat belted with your knees up to your chin?
But man oh man is it fun to drive. It is a small Ford Ranger (again I would not know this but for the many men who have admiringly talked to me about it). It is fire engine red which I love. The standard is not too tempermental and at nearly 20 years old it has that almost classic cache to it.
Mind you not to me. To me it is an old clunker that at any moment will leave me stranded or cost me a fortune to keep running. But when driving it on a lovely sunny day with radio and AC blasting....well it is very liberating.
I snuck out to lunch and a quick visit to the beach. But mostly I drove singing songs very loudly and nearly on key. It felt fun and foolish and entirely self indulgent. I almost, almost did not dutifully return home when my schedule of have tos required it.
I may never know the difference between a caddy and a dump truck. But zipping into fifth gear in my fire engine red pick up.... well its a little slice of freeedom that is what it is.