Thanks Giving

Well those four and a half days sure went by fast! What an adventure, starting of course with the leaky pipe and ending with a job interview!
It was heavenly having Corey and Julie home for the weekend. I miss that Jubee so much it makes my eyes water. Also every time I see Corey I marvel at how he has grown, I mean matured. He is still six feet one and his weight is a reed slender 160 pounds.
On Saturday as part of his long standing tradition he had most of his boyhood friends over for their big football game. This year it did not rain and the yard was not a mud pit, quite a switch from the usual! Cullen (who of course has a perfect mother!) came bearing food, in this case a pumpkin pie and a lasagna. Cullen calls it bringing hommage to Mrs. Blauss. I call it practical. Those boys are hearty eaters, way back in middle school I told them they were only welcome if they came bearing munchies! Don gave them money and sent them out to buy soda (EEEE gads, next year they will all be 21. No soda then, the Blaussmobile will have to be a booze pick up drop off taxi!)
A few of the boys brought chips but I still got stuck ordering pizza for them. (not to mention making them brownies!) A notable man missing was our Andy as he is spending a year abroad for college. And speaking of college , Rob who graduated from high school NOT enrolled in college is heading to Univ of Hartford in the Fall. Cullen's mom and I take most of the credit for cajoling the poor boy into going on to school. In all seriousness he has worked like a dog saving money and then eventually going to community college to earn the grades and scholarship to Hartford!
Thanksgiving day itself was wonderful with all the kids home. We celebrated Mary and Matts anniversary reminising, and of course Yon got plenty of attention for his birthday. We fit in our annual walk to spot a Christmas tree and of course the the visit to his sisters for dessert. His sister is lovely and Don really enjoys getting together to play guitars and sing with various siblings and their offspring. Now that the kids are older I can enjoy it more but we still headed right out when *******(edited for content)....... one of those family things where everyone knows about it, everyone hates it, and no one truly addresses it. Poor Debbie tried one year and all she got for her efforts was a big wall of silence.
We also fit in Christams shopping ansd list preparing and even a play rehearsal. All the sisters are being fitted with corsets and let me tell you I looked smashing in mine. I get a wonderful waist, which I have not had in over 25 years! Now if only I can sing and breath and sit in it I will be all set!
The last fun thing of the weekend was getting an email requesting I come in for a job interview on Wednesday to be an Addiction research Assistant working on a study out of Harvard (although the research site is in Fall River!) With Don out of work, this could not have come at a more wonderful time!
Around us, families are struggling. My dear neighbor had to brave early Black Friday sales to get funeral clothing before her emergency flight to Penn, for the death of a beloved grandmother. Her son (such a good kid) came by Thanksgiving night to drop off desserts and fresh milk which would go bad just sitting in their fridge. Being good neighbors of course we grasciously ate and drank every bit!
I know of 8 families who for the first time celebrated the holiday with Divorce in their lives. Life seems to be getting grayer all around lately. Does it seem that way to you? But here, this holiday weekend, at our little farm in Carver we laughed a lot, ate too much, exercised quite a bit, and read tawdry roamnces (ok that was just me) and watched our annual Thanksgiving Star Wars marathon.

Forget Black Friday, Wacky Wednesday is the real challenge

I am not a shopper. In my mind the only stores that exist are Shaws (I love food), Borders (I love books) and Pet Stores (I love...well you get the idea.) As a matter of fact I have innocently stumbled into a Mall on the infamous Black Friday to pick up a must have, like diapers or sneakers for someone with holes in theirs, only to be startled by the mobs and mayhem.
To me the big day to get right on things good and early and keep on top of it all is the day before Thanksgiving otherwise known (to me) as prep day and to the rest as Wacky Wednesday.
This is the day to map out table arrangements, figure out what pan or what bowl will go with what, get a start on premaking thing, etc. For instance I already have the sausage stuffing done up, the chocolate pies chilling, the sweet potatos and pecans ready to go and I even have the butternut squash soup well on its way. I did just send Don out to grab more squash (how do you figure out 7 cups of squash just by looking at one?)
Yet the rest of the world seems to believe I should be at their disposal on this busy day. Some things cannot be helped of course. Like my poor neighbor whose husband is 600 hundred miles away sitting shiva for his beloved grandmother. While he took one kid with him, the other went to school this morning and then ran a fever. His mom of course is an hour away at work and heading into a meeting. So a series of comedic phonecalls and crazy manipulations and we end up with the child at our house. I felt so bad for my neighbor and I am glad she called me.
She was mortified to do so though because she thought he looked off this morning. But he really wanted to go, he had no fever, and what can you do? She was kicking herself for not keeping him home... but when a kid begs to go to school (they were having a cool assembly today) what mom can say no? I have been in the exact same position before and this neighbor has more than once been stuck driving one of my kids to work or picking my kids up from school. It is what good neighbors do.
So her sick kid is at my house with my supposed sick kid. (Joe came home from school early yesterday with a low grade fever.) Both boys made a miraculous recovery just in time for Yon's birthday cake. They even forced thmeselves to play with Yon's new Wii birthday video game. Amazing troopers!
So Wacky Wednesday is also Yon's birthday and Mary and Matt's wedding anniversary. I made sure to have their gifts ready for today although we probably won't see them until tomorrow. But you never know.
Then Jamie who had no school today begged to go out for Chinese food, his treat. He has been working very hard at Shaws, many times putting in 25 hours, plus his school schedule so of course he deserved to go. The fact that Chinese is hell on my diet should not come into play.
Both college kids are home, Julie who I picked up last night at the train station, and Corey -he somehow talked his father into getting him this morning IN Boston. Clearly his father loves him more than I do because I draw the line at driving on the express way on this High Holy Traffic Jam Day. Both joined Jamie and I at Chinese and all three were very amused when the box of leftover food I prepared to bring home for Donnie fell all over the floor of the restaurant. Dumb kids. I did manage to guilt them into giving their leftovers to him when we got home however.
He was unable to go because he was up to his armpits in flooded cellar water. Ok Slight exaggeration. But our bad luck streak continues around holidays and plumbing. A pipe above the water heater sprung a leak squirting water for perhaps 2 hours before I fianlly traced the sound of heavy rain I kept hearing on this dreary day.
I suppose I should say I am grateful he is out of work so he could fix it. Or I am grateful it simply flooded one wall and a bureau full on clean clothes, plus all the clean clothes hanging above the bureau plus all the clean jeans folded on the brueau. Could be worse right? After a lot of grunt work on Don's part and more than a couple trips to the hardware store we have a toilet that flushes and hot water. That I AM grateful for.
But my look on the brightside of things even annoys me sometimes! Ah well, various emails and phonecalls came in requesting our time, money, or both. These were easy to say no to. Don't these people understand I am in prep day mode? I cannot dig out my check book or write something on the calander with flour covered hands. I need to measure and pour and slice and mince. I am frying and boiling and baking.
The Pilgrims only had to hunt and harvest their food. I have to find the right Tupperware container, translate butter loving recipes into more Weight Watcher friendly ones, juggle shower schedules and kid work schedules and drop off pick ups. I need to rewash about 6 loads of flooded laundry and college kids are vying to get all their laundry done too. We are all 9 of us back home with one bathroom and it is too rainy to make the boys go behind a tree! Talk about hardship and toil. Our forefathers had it easy:>)
Wacky Wednesday should be a peaceful day of prep work but once again it has not been. Yet tomorrow will still dawn- Thanksgiving Day- and with Mary and Matt definitely joining us around the table we will have an abundance to be thankful for.
All around us this year long term marriages have been crumbling. In addition a couple of friends are facing cancer head on. So this year, as I watch Don vaguely dozing on the couch, a bit of solder poking out of his shirt pocket I know what I am grateful for: A husband who WILL drive into Boston to pick up an annoying and endearing boy, a husband who can fix a leaky pipe-even if it takes 3 tries, a husband who is out of work but not out of ideas...

Body Image and Body Health

Have been thinking about body image lately. Ran into 4 folks I know over the last 2 weeks who have all chosen or not to have various forms of breast reconstruction, otherwise known as a boob job. It is kinda funny that I even spoke with them all recently as they are in very different parts of my life. One is a long distance friend who I only get to see a couple times a year but through computers we are much closer than we would ever be if IM, Facebook, and Blogs were not invented. One is an old walking buddy of mine who is also a church lady. The other 2 are neighbors, one whom I use to be friends with and another whose kids are over all the time yet she and I are not close.
Each woman made a decision about their bodies that I found very brave, and the reasons that they shared very compelling. A stupid guy on the radio one day was ranting about the rampant plastic surgery in the US....like loose dogs in the neighborhood or something... and how people should accept the body God gave them.
Now I suppose accepting what we have been given is a wonderful goal. Heaven knows I have not achieved it! I ran those 5 miles the other day and am scheduled to do a buddy run with my brother for the Special Olympics. I have been working hard to eat right and vary both my diet and exercise to be the best healthy me I can be.
Yet this very morning as I stood on the scale and the number is up just a smidge more I started to cry. This is just so hard. It should not be this much work and the scale should reward me for all my suffering, yet it does not. Needless to say I know we all should accept what the good Lord gives us. But these woman and the choices they made with their breast reconstructions are so much more than body image and come down to basic questions of health and peace of mind.
My first friend who chose a reduction had been contemplating it for years. Being a fan of big boobs myself (and who isn't!) I asked her what she envisioned when the surgery and recovery was complete. Her simple answer rocked me. She said, "I just want to be able to run across the street to catch a bus and not have to hold myself."
Nothing about vanity like the radio guy implied. She just wanted to be able to run across the road.
Well her surgery was simple enough but the recovery was painful with a few bumps along the way. Apparently people felt compelled to judge and comment about this most private of decisions which I suppose should be no surprise, yet still always amazes me. She herself was helped by a healthy ego and supportive husband. She knew what she needed for her and in spite of any negative feedback went ahead with her choice. Now a year later she looks and feel wonderful. When we got together the other day We snuck off into the bedroom for a quick peek and enjoyed the naughtiness of that! Of course they looked wonderful and the scars practically invisible. She proudly showed off the slender bra straps that never dig into her shoulders like the ones she use to wear. But I could not get over the look on her face, the simple peace with the decision that she made and the rightness for her.
My old walking buddy chose a different decision after breast cancer caused her the loss of one of her breasts. She decided againt any surgery to restore her missing right breast and instead wears funny comlpicated bras when clothing choices dictate a more symetrical appearance. She too was subjected to the unsolicited opinion of others who felt they knew more than she about her own body. Yet with the exception of a little balance problem when bending down to tie her shoes (who knew boobs can serve as a ballast!) she has never looked back on her choice with regret.
As for my neighbors, one chose reduction and is now embarking on a healthy exercise program since her 'normal' size mammeries allow her the freedom of aerobics without agony. She even feels ready to try to quit smoking. How is that for brave!
The other neighbor went for implants after she could not fit into her bridesmaid's dress because her AA boobs were too small. Turns out there is such a thing as too small! Woman's clothing is made with the assumption that something sticks out up there. She could not even get into Victoria's Secret clothing in spite of her size 2 athletic frame because those clothes are made assuming some cleavage.
Now 5 years later she too has no regrets. I have yet to see her in any sort of revealing clothing, she is just not that kind of person. She told her husband once she did not get them to show them off to other people, she got them to feel good about her!
4 pretty brave women, I think.

Edaville Road Race

Today was a new race for me The Edaville Road Race, run in honor of an 18 year old Carver girl who was killed in an accident in the early seventies. The money raised helps Carver youth.
I did not feel as prepared for this race as I have for my two summer runs. My miles and pace have slowed considerably since July. Nevertheless, it is a good cause and I need something to keep pushing me towards a better weight loss and good health.
Well it was a work out let me tell you! The race both started and ended in a driving, cold, windy rain. The entire middle of the race was a damp windy mist. Also, although we ran in a very wide loop the wind somehow managed to blow against us just about the entire way. I am not sure that is even realistically possible. But it did, honest!
Only Don chose to accompany me. It is Nikki's 14th birthday today and she remained at home preparing for it. The others just did not want to be out cheering in the rain which was perfectly reasonable. My Donnie however chose to support me and it was fun to catch sight of him, nearly blending in with the trees,- he in his cowboy hat and long drover coat catching the wind.
The run itself for some reason I had in my head, would be on the tarred road. There is a small stretch of tar that follows the little reservoir right in front of Edaville. But of course we ran around the large Atwood reservoir. So the entire stretch was run on sandy bog roads.
Naturally these roads are easier on your joints. But I have not practised off road running since July and all the little stabilizer muscles in my legs and hips were letting me know it. Stupid of me not to have more carefully thought it out.
The softer surface slowed me down that much more and I really wondered whether or not I could make the run in under an hour. But I did it! A nice touch to the race (besides the free long sleeve shirt!) is that they have people posted at the mile markers shouting out the time. Those poor guys at mile 3 and 4 were really freezing by the time I ran by. But it was great to be able to keep track of your time.
The views btw were out of this world. The reservoir is magnificent and most of the run has the water on your left and the railroad track, a small river, and the woods on your right. Then after you round mile three the bogs open up to your right. We even jog by the little mini cottage houses, built to impress the kids on the train ride. In spite of the torrential rain and fog you could see runners snaking along the road in front of you. Kept me from getting lost as I certainly ran a good part of the race by my lonesome!
I kept wishing I had company along the run because it was so beautiful and peaceful. We finished up at the Edaville museum with free food. (I only ate the Craisons.) I did snag a free clam chowda for Donnie which he deserved since he braved the cold and rain for me with good humor.
A nice run inspite of the weather and I hope someone will run it with me next year.

Interesting Introspective Exercise

I had a very helpful conversation the other morning with the weight watcher weigh receptionist. Her name is Joan and she is one of my favorites. She is a slender, fashionably dressed lady not much older than I who has a matter of fact approach to things that I really admire. Plus you never feel judged if the scale does not reflect your fondest wish.
She gave me some solid advice about what to do with my on going weight loss struggle. I have been faithfully attending meetings lately and following program. Exercise, healthy foods, writing it all down. I really want this. So why am I eating portions too large to allow weight loss? Why even though I have been so diligent am I slowly sliding up the scale?
22 months on program you think I would have this down by now. So what gives? Joan told me to write down the original reasons I joined ww to begin with. What made me drag myself in on that cold rainy day, JAN 8, 2008? She felt that by writing it out I would regain some much needed motivation and perhaps some insight. She was correct and the results were startling.
Yesterday as Don, Tim, and I headed to Duxbruy beach for a power walk to and from Green Harbour I quickly sketched out my goals. There were 6 of them and I have certainly not forgotten them.
1.Better health.
2.To be able to walk and play without exhaustion.
3.Be under 200 pounds.
4.Eat healthier.
5.Fit into regular size clothes.
(Then I skipped a space and wrote...)

6.Get down to 160. (100 pounds lost.)

As I stared at the list I was amazed to realize that I had in fact achieved the first 5 goals. I was already at all of those things. Number 6 never felt doable and sure enough even as I wrote them out quickly my mind must've thought it because it skipped a space. Isn't that skipped space fascinating? Perhaps my unconscious having decided I had already done the first five and having ruled out the last one was in part preventing me from moving onward and was infact slowly allowing me to slip?
I stared at those goals for a time. I have in the last 22 months also had a series of smaller goals, little steps to help me achive the Big 6. Things like running a road race, or swimming across Maquan pond. I have even had food goals like trying to eat broccoli every week, or going to a restaurant and only ordering soup and salad. Also since 100 pounds has always felt too impossible I have had weight goals broken down into smaller chunks, like losing a certain poundage by a certain date, fitting into a smaller size outfit by a certain holiday, or even being in a new decade of weight during a certain season.
But ultimaltely these smaller goals were steps to achieving the overall goals. So it is clear I have to come up with a new goal or set of them. If my thought processess are somehow contributing to my weight stall then I need to think new thoughts! After much reflection I have decided to not lose sight of those orgiginal 5 but change number 6 to read:

6. Achieve Lifetime.

Lifetime Achievement is losing the weight set by weight watchers (in this case 160) or your doctor (if it is to be a higher weight) and maintaining that weight plus or minus 2 pounds for 6 weeks. There is then a monthly weigh in but as long as you are within 2 pounds of Lifetime all meetings and materials are free and you can attend as many meetings as you like.

Changing the goal of number 6 makes the impossible seem possible. After all a number is just a number. If at some point my body really does not seem able to go lower in a healthy way and my doctor agrees then that will be the ultimate goal for me. Meanwhile I still have sometihng to work towards. The first 5 goals are now a part of this number 6 goal and I can now go about setting smaller goals to help me towards the ultimate one.
a. Lift weights at the gym at least 2x per week at the gym.
b. 25 pounds by my 47th birthday (5 months away.)
c. A smaller dress size by Christmas.
what do you think? kinda intersting, huh?

All by Myself

Ok, not exactly all alone! Nikki and Jamie are upstairs puttering about. But tonight Don is chaperoning the 7th grade overnight at Camp Bournedale. (Tim and Yon of course are working at Shaws.) So I am on my own.
There is certainly plenty to do. My bureau drawers need to be reorganized and I have a pile of clean laundery that is teetering next to my bed. Also somehow a mountain of paperwork and debris has grown on the top of my bureau and is slwoly slipping down it.
Then there is the plan to clean off a couple of shelves in the laundry room to neatly store the extra Tupperware. So far all it is, is a well intentioned plan. I could make Tupperware phonecalls or do any of a half dozen other chores with varying degrees of importance.
But I may end up with a bubble bath and a good book. There is always TV and I have plenty of things to look up on the Internet which could occupy me quite happily if not industriously for half the night. What to do, what to do.
I feel lonely when Donnie is not around and I do so hate sleeping alone.

PaleFace tries to muscle in

 

Another pumpkin friend of mine

 

Olympia and Spongebob

 

A Real Hole in the Wall

When we first moved to Carver, nearly 17 years ago we discovered that the previous owners had punched 2 holes in the wall. Both holes had been covered by paintings when we toured the house. The first hole was in the hallyway right outside the bathroom door.
It was the very first job as a new homeowner that Donnie tackled - fixing that hole. But for whatever reason neither he nor I fixed the second hole in the boys room. Instead we have covered it over the years with a series of kid appropriate posters.
When Nikki and Julie moved into that room however Miss Nikki begged to have the hole repaired. Imagine my shock to discover that it costs precious little and is a relatively simple job. As the years went by I just assumed it was a time comsuming expensive ordeal.
Julie asked to be there because she has indignantly claimed over the years that Corey and his buddy KC once dropped her favorite pony down the hole. Other children also have claimed their belongings were scuttled down there too. No one has ever admited to putting anything in the hole mind you, but apparently every blessed one of them is a victim!
So today Julie was handed a hammer and a saw and she gleefully 'teared down that wall.' I am not certain the falling of the Berlin Wall incited such unholy glee. Sure enough, sitting admidst the dust and plaster was a little Breyer pony, also a book entitled "I used to be Older." We also found a toddlers' shoe, a baby's mirror, numerous hairbobs and blocks, and half a deck of children's pictionary cards. A little purple dinosaur also emerged from the dust as well as some winnie the pooh paraphenelia. Toy cars, baseball cards, and a very fierce power ranger was added to the pile of loot.
Now instead of a little hole, there is a big gash and a pile of almost forgotten toys. Julie cheerfully read the kiddie book while eating lunch and our plan today is to head out to see Where the Wild Things Are. Joe is heading out to clamber in the leaf piles. He wanted to see the movie but cannot bear the thought of being indoors on what could be the 'last good day.'
Jamie and Nikki are still sick and so they too will have to postpone their movie time. Julie however is stting with a bowl of cereal, book propped up, and her pony next to her on the kitchen table. She feels quite vindicated as Corey has always maintained his innocence in the case of the missing pony.
So we add the hole in the wall adventure to our memory stores on all things childhood.